My Ramblings Part Three: Let's Get Happy!!
Let’s ponder the question of what happiness really is. To begin I’ll pick apart the definition of happiness according to a standard dictionary. Happiness is feeling pleasure, causing pleasure, feeling satisfied that something is or has been done right, or slightly drunk. Well that ranges to all ends of the spectrum doesn’t it?
If we take the term very literal and use it to dissect our lives, how many of us are actually happy? Can we find overall happiness in the everyday? According to the dictionary every time I feel pleasure or cause it and every time I feel satisfied or am drunk than I am experiencing happiness. Now, I have a little moral dilemma to explore here first.
How is being slightly drunk making me happy? I have been every range of drunk from slightly to completely blasted and never once would I describe the feeling as happiness. As a matter of fact when researching alcoholism I am pretty sure that this is what you would hear come out of an alcoholic’s mouth. So, I refuse to ever refer to being drunk or for that matter, high, as being happy.
Now that I’ve cleared that up I can get down to what happiness really is right? Well, no. I also have an objection to describing satisfaction in a job well done is happiness. I can say that I have pride in a task I did particularly well, but if you are telling me that in every instance where I did something right and felt good about it that I am happy then you are wrong. You have justified one of my little neurotic impulses. Now doesn’t that make you an enabler? Here we go again. I can now tell myself that being happy means that I think I’m great and what I do is great and pride is happiness.
Nope, I’m not going to do it. As I so thoroughly explained earlier, I spend a good portion of my time trying to be perfect and if I tell myself that every time I do something right I am happy then it just fuels my perfectionist nature. Then I am doomed to failure and where is the happiness in that?
So now we’re down to the teeth of the issue. The giving and receiving of pleasure is my total definition of happiness. At least, it’s what I would like to be my definition of happiness. This is what I think everyone’s definition of happiness should be. If every single person on earth was devoted to the giving and receiving of pleasure then wouldn’t we all be a little happier? The earth would just become a giddy, happiness Mecca right? Well, in theory anyway.
In a marriage, this is the ultimate goal. The thing that you most strive for in your relationship is make yourself and your partner the happiest that you can be. This means that you want to give your spouse as much pleasure as you can. Whether this is physical pleasure, mental pleasure or emotional pleasure is up to you and your spouse. Personally, I would love a mixture of all three.
There no point in any relationship where all of the needs of both partners are being met. There is a natural give and take in relationships. I remember my parents telling me when I was young that a marriage was not 50/50 but a little more flexible than that. On any given day a relationship could be 50/50 or 60/40 or 90/10 and vice versa. You must know that this will eventually even out though. If there is one partner that is constantly giving and one that is constantly taking then you will end up nowhere.
And yes...you can laugh at the picture...Guess who was behind the camera??!
If we take the term very literal and use it to dissect our lives, how many of us are actually happy? Can we find overall happiness in the everyday? According to the dictionary every time I feel pleasure or cause it and every time I feel satisfied or am drunk than I am experiencing happiness. Now, I have a little moral dilemma to explore here first.
How is being slightly drunk making me happy? I have been every range of drunk from slightly to completely blasted and never once would I describe the feeling as happiness. As a matter of fact when researching alcoholism I am pretty sure that this is what you would hear come out of an alcoholic’s mouth. So, I refuse to ever refer to being drunk or for that matter, high, as being happy.
Now that I’ve cleared that up I can get down to what happiness really is right? Well, no. I also have an objection to describing satisfaction in a job well done is happiness. I can say that I have pride in a task I did particularly well, but if you are telling me that in every instance where I did something right and felt good about it that I am happy then you are wrong. You have justified one of my little neurotic impulses. Now doesn’t that make you an enabler? Here we go again. I can now tell myself that being happy means that I think I’m great and what I do is great and pride is happiness.
Nope, I’m not going to do it. As I so thoroughly explained earlier, I spend a good portion of my time trying to be perfect and if I tell myself that every time I do something right I am happy then it just fuels my perfectionist nature. Then I am doomed to failure and where is the happiness in that?
So now we’re down to the teeth of the issue. The giving and receiving of pleasure is my total definition of happiness. At least, it’s what I would like to be my definition of happiness. This is what I think everyone’s definition of happiness should be. If every single person on earth was devoted to the giving and receiving of pleasure then wouldn’t we all be a little happier? The earth would just become a giddy, happiness Mecca right? Well, in theory anyway.
In a marriage, this is the ultimate goal. The thing that you most strive for in your relationship is make yourself and your partner the happiest that you can be. This means that you want to give your spouse as much pleasure as you can. Whether this is physical pleasure, mental pleasure or emotional pleasure is up to you and your spouse. Personally, I would love a mixture of all three.
There no point in any relationship where all of the needs of both partners are being met. There is a natural give and take in relationships. I remember my parents telling me when I was young that a marriage was not 50/50 but a little more flexible than that. On any given day a relationship could be 50/50 or 60/40 or 90/10 and vice versa. You must know that this will eventually even out though. If there is one partner that is constantly giving and one that is constantly taking then you will end up nowhere.
And yes...you can laugh at the picture...Guess who was behind the camera??!
damn you look just like my mother in law, from long ago
Posted by
Anonymous |
January 25, 2006 7:05 PM
and behind the camera my mother in law from long ago,has to be her grandson
Posted by
Anonymous |
January 27, 2006 8:06 PM
Ok... call me slow but I can't figure who this is....
Have pity on the poor blonde girl....
;)
Posted by
Drama Mama |
January 27, 2006 8:53 PM