Texas' Three Ring Circus

Here Comes Santa Claus...

2006-12-12T14:16:00.000-05:00

Well the man in the red suit is on his way again. We have bought and put up the tree, a live blue spruce this year. It's covered in glittery snowflakes and garland.

Little Man has Chistmas Carols on Thursday night after which we are leaving to visit my dad overnight in Marble Falls and to take my grandmother who is down in Texas from Ohio shopping in the quaint little town of Fredrickburg. I am going to try to convince my dad to keep the kiddos over night on Saturday night.

James and I plan to do the Santa shopping at this time so that the kiddos are not around when all the money flys the coop.

Pray for us...

© 2006 CM

Giving Thanks for Thanksgiving

2006-11-24T13:04:00.000-05:00

Well we made it through Thanksgiving. It was nice. My family is kind of changing these days. My aunt was out of town with my cousins but my dad and mom and sister made it to the dinner at my grandparents along with my uncles and another grandmother and a cousin. Plus of course my niece, nephew and my hubby and kids. It was a nice turn out and a wonderful meal. I decided to go over a little early and help my grandmother so that I could learn how to make all the fixings. Plus I made candied sweet potatoes from scratch.

I am also cooking on Sunday for my parents, uncle, grandmother, sister, niece, nephew and my hubby and kids at my house. I am make a traditional hungarian dish that my grandmother taught my mom who taught me. The receipe is four or five generations old and it takes all day but it is so worth it. I am trying to make this a tradition as well. The weekend after Thanksgiving everyone comes to my house for a day of cooking and family time.

We are considering getting a "new to me" vehicle. I want a Trailblazer EXT and I found one I like for a price I like here in Austin. I hope that we can get financed for it and if not then we just wait until we have tax return money and the dealer will be more likely to finance. Plus we aren't backed up against the wall on this one so we have time to negotiate.

I am working today on Black Friday and much as I would like to be home or shopping for great deals I am getting Overtime pay plus holiday so it works out great for me.

I have my lunchtime in about 20 minutes. Gotta get some stuff done before that so ta-ta for now.

© 2006 CM

So I'm a Slacker....

2006-11-08T11:41:00.000-05:00

AND?!?!

No seriously, life has just been too busy to keep up with this blog recently. So I guess I should give a run down of where things are right now huh?

Little Man quit football as we just don't have the time to do all of this and both of us work opposite shifts.

Ms. Personality has a mullet since she asked her bubba to cut her hair for her! Oy!

Miracle Babe is talking up a storm and has a head full of little ringlets.

James is still working nights and his 28th birthday is coming up in 4 days. I have to figure out what the hell I am going to get him.

The last two weeks James and I were on vacation and were able to get all the doctor appointments and house/yard work done and get in one night out dancing. He managed to make it for one night to Houston to go fishing with his Dad and took the kiddos. Which means that I was alone in the house for one whole night in I don't know how long. I have to say it was nice to eat a meal, watch a television show and take a bath without three little indians bouncing around my knees while I pee....

I am back at work now and will be putting in 12 hour days for the rest of the week at least so that my check evens out since my boss screwed it up while I was gone. Not that she isn't a good boss but this part of it sucks.

We are making plans for Thanksgiving. I am sure we will be at my grandmother's for Thanksgiving again this year and then I have promised to spend that weekend with my Dad. So James and the kids and I will do that. I think while we are up there I will try to make it to Coldspring Granite and acquire another large granite rock or two for the yard.

I have a brand new iPod 30GB Video from my job for free. We had a contest and my team won. We all got one. Plus at the end of this month we all get one of these:

Have I said how much I like my job yet?

Well I do...Alot.

© 2006 CM

Friday the 13TH

2006-10-13T11:40:00.000-04:00

A Friday occurring on the 13th day of any month is considered to be a day of bad luck in English and Portuguese-speaking cultures around the globe. Similar superstitions exist in some other traditions. In Greece and Spain, for example, Tuesday the 13th takes the same role. The fear of Friday the 13th is called paraskavedekatriaphobia, a specialized form of triskaidekaphobia, a phobia (fear) of the number thirteen.

History

There have been a number of events known as "Black Fridays" in history. Usually, these events are devastating. Some historians propose that the origin of the "Black Friday" was the simultaneous arrest of hundreds of Knights Templars on October 13, 1307 (Friday), to be later tortured into admitting heresy.

Effects

Strangely, there is evidence to suggest that Friday the 13th is actually unlucky. Psychologists have found that some people are especially likely to have accidents or fall ill on Friday the 13th[citation needed]. This has been attributed to such people feeling a heightened state of anxiety on that day (see nocebo effect). The Stress Management Center and Phobia Institute in Asheville, North Carolina estimates that in the United States alone, $800 or $900 million is lost in business each Friday the 13th because people will not fly or do business they would normally do. [1]

The date is also well-known in the motorcycle (biker) community: since 1981, motorcycle enthusiasts and vendors gather every Friday the 13th in Port Dover, Ontario, Canada. This tradition started on November 13, 1981 by Chris Simons as a gathering of approximately 25 friends. The event has grown substantially, with an estimated 100,000 people attending in August 2004, as well as music bands, vendors, a bike show, etc.

In the Spanish-speaking world, it is Tuesday the 13th (as well as Tuesdays in general) that brings bad luck[citation needed]; a proverb runs En martes, ni te cases ni te embarques (on Tuesday, neither get married nor start a journey).

REFLECTIONS ON FATHERHOOD....

2006-09-10T18:31:00.000-04:00

As I looked at Dylan's football helmet after I put the new stickers with his name onto it it got me thinking. Seeing his last name on his jersey and this one I had just put on his helmet for him, holding it in my hands, I started to tear up. The only thought running through my head was " I will give this boy every opportunity that I never had to be the best at whatever he sets his heart to."

© 2006 JM

First Scrimmage

2006-09-01T14:36:00.000-04:00

New Football Movie

2006-09-01T14:29:00.000-04:00

This is a movie of all of the pictures that we have so far from Summer Camp.

Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing

Little GridIron Giant

2006-08-30T12:11:00.000-04:00

This is the first one and then the Friday Night Lights....

Friday Night Lights

2006-08-30T11:39:00.000-04:00

Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing

So, I finally got one of the videos of Dylan practicing Pee Wee up and running. Check it OUT!

© 2006 CM

Spring Cleaning

2006-08-29T13:05:00.000-04:00

I took my kids to my sister's house on Sunday. They spent all day playing with their cousins and having a ball. Meanwhile, back at the casa, James and I were working hard and getting dirty. NOT LIKE THAT! Cleaning the house. From top to bottom. Stuff like behind the refridgerator, the stove, cleaning out the pantry. We also did a few "home improvement" things as well. We ripped up the carpet in the girl's bedroom and then painted the concrete with purple concrete paint.

This is 100% easier to clean and keep up with. If she spills something or gets food on the floor (by sneaking it out of the kitchen) then it is just a quick sweep and mop instead of a rental of a carpet cleaner and deodorizing the room.

Last few things to be done? Laundry and sorting the clothes that we no longer wear.

I EVEN paid bills this morning before I left the house at 7 AM!

© 2006 CM

Saturday Morning Sun....

2006-08-28T13:00:00.000-04:00

Oh My God! It was so hot at Little Man's game. He had a great time and actually did pretty well in the game but the girls were hot and restless.

They had a good time too though and hopefully the next one will be closer to home turf.

Sunday the kids went over to my sister's for the day while James and I radically cleaned the house and repaired Ms. Personality's floor in her bedroom. We removed her carpet and painted the floor purple so that it will be easily mopped up.

It feels good to have a clean house. We'll see how clean it stays when I get home tonight.

© 2006 CM

I'd Like to Introduce You to the Next Heisman Winner

2006-08-24T15:08:00.000-04:00

Dylan has his first pep rally tonight at Bastrop Middle School. My little boy is growing up. He has settled into school well and is learning football nicely.

His first game is at 10:45 AM at Crockett High on Saturday. He has another one right after that at 11:30. I don't really know what the deal is with that though. His league has two pee wee teams (one white, one black) and the pee wee white team has two games this Saturday while pee wee black only has one. I don't know if that means that they are really good and that's why they play twice or that they are not so good and need the practice.

Hmmmm.. On another note: I am not really fond of Little Man's Kindergarten teacher so much. She seems a little off to me but I really like his football coach. Rick is well aware of how to treat a five year old. Probably because he has one of his own but he has that good balance between understanding and firmness that kids respect. I think that the teacher may have a hard time gaining the children's respect as she always seems like she is unsure of herself.

© 2006 CM

Job Security at Least....

2006-08-24T14:58:00.000-04:00

Ok so if you know where I work then you are aware that we just announced a major issue with some of our products. Not good, but we are handling it well. Bad news for me: Call are going to ramp up signigicantly. Good News for me: I get to keep my job for at least the next six months or a year or so with no worries.

Oy Vay! I already have a migrane!

© 2006 CM

Nuts....

2006-08-14T18:00:00.000-04:00

Well update on the day...It has gone to shit.

Mother has caused MAJOR drama at my sister's and all over Bastrop County and is in the State Hospital. I think she finally cracked.

Dylan did well at school but came home with a progress note saying that he did not listen to the teacher in class all day. Put that on top of his not focusing at Football and I think the kid might have an issue with ADD or ADHD.

Gotta check into it.

© 2006 CM

ABC's and 123's

2006-08-14T12:53:00.000-04:00

I took Little Man to his first day of school today. My precious little boy is off on his own. It was a little bitterweet but I didn't cry. I have been quite anxious all day and everytime the phone rings I worry that it will be a phone call for me about him. I wonder how his day is going and if he is behaving and learning anything.

I hope he has fun and that he fits in well. I can't think about this anymore or I will start to cry or worse...CALL. Oy!

Lord help me get through the day.

© 2006 CM

Cops and Robbers...

2006-08-14T11:15:00.000-04:00

Ok so after the incident with the bumper a couple of weeks ago I woke up to James banging on the door Thursday morning. I went outside and someone had broken into my truck and stolen the speakers and the amp. OMG! You think you live in a great neighborhood and no big deal but apparently not.

We called the police and they got fingerprints. We bought some security devices and we took pictures but this sucks..

Off to the Races....

2006-08-14T10:47:00.000-04:00

We ran out to Marble Falls this weekend. Stayed overnight with my Dad and then headed out to the annual boat races! It was incredibly hot and crowded but SO fun. We watched several of the smaller races and the outboard races and we were able to catch ONE of the BIG BOY Races...the Pro Mods...Awesome.

We were taking video the entire time of the races that we caught but the sucky part is that I forgot to charge the camera battery after Dylan's football practice and we ran out of battery right before the BIG race! Argg! Will post video of one of the other races today and put up new pics and video of Dylan's Pee Wee practice.

All the kiddos and myself got sunburned but I got the cutest new shorts and shirt and James got a new larger Blo Me sticker from the BloMe racing group.

Overall....great Sunday.

New Web Page for the Family

2006-08-08T14:05:00.000-04:00

Check out this link:

http://web.mac.com/crystal.morales

My Little GridIron Giant

2006-08-07T15:53:00.000-04:00

Well I have signed myself up for some more madness. Little man has decided that he wants to play football. He has been to three practices and I can already see some improvement. It's funny though, he has the hardest tim focusing. And BOY is my kid a talker.

I think that might be an issue when he starts school in a couple of weeks.

We went to Academy and got all of his equipment for him to play. It's full contact pee wee so he needs the full pads. Two hundred dollars later, not to mention the registration fees and now he is tired of playing.

Sorry Buddy your playing.

;)

© 2006 CM

New Bumper

2006-08-07T14:40:00.000-04:00

Craziness at my house on the 31st. A friend's abusive controlling ex-husband came over to my house and tried to start a fight with my hubby. When James proved too coolheaded for that the crazy person decided that he would take out his agression on my truck. My baby!!!

He took her little Neon and hit the front of my truck and then sped off. Needless to say I had the cops over there quick and after a long battle with her insurance company and of course the crimial charges I filed I ended up getting a check for the replacement of my bumper.

Instead of going with a stock one though, we took the check and upgraded to a new Ranch Hand bumper.

Wanna play bumper cars now anyone?? Pictures to come when I finally download the camera!

© 2006 CM

Mothers and Daughters......

2006-07-06T09:30:00.000-04:00

My mother and I haven't spoken with any real substance in some time. I am at a point in my life where I have very little patience for those who live a destructive lifestyle and drag either myself or my children into it. Unfortunately, my mother is a drug addict and an alcoholic. For the last three years, at least, she has been on cocaine and has been so irresponsible that I have made the determination that she is not allowed to be alone with my children.

On top of the fact that she is a drug addict, or maybe because of it, my parents are divorcing and have been for a while. She, of course is making the whole transition as hard as possible and is milking my Dad for every cent that she can and calling it her due. I would leave the entire thing to them but my Dad cares nothing about the things and the money and would let her have it all only to have her sell, pawn or destroy it all for drugs and her wild lifestyle. My sister and I both have told him that if he doesn't want any of it then we would be more than happy to take it from him but we don't want our mother to get all of it because there will be nothing left.

Compounded with all of this is the fact that she is now dating. However, she is dating the exact opposite of my Dad and has apparently decided that the quiet life that she led before is now over and was not good enough. She is running with bikers and bar flies. Her "boyfriend" is a biker who is only four years older than her oldest daughter, which makes her sixteen years his senior. What's sad is that she is trying to keep up with him. In clothes, which make her look older, she's tanned, which makes her look leathery, and she's doing things like getting really badly done tattoos. Ya'll my mother is 44. She is acting younger than I am.

I worry about her as well. The crowd she hangs out with knows that my Dad has money and that mother is bound to get at least some in the divorce. I don't put it past that crowd to harm her to get that money, or even harm my Dad to ensure that she gets more.

What is a daughter to do? Especially with babies of my own to protect? I am at now at a stand still and have been attempting to just stay away until she comes to her senses. I really don't see that happening with all the drug abuse though. This is really hard at this point. I don't know what to do.

© 2006 CM

I Hate the IRS....

2006-06-28T14:30:00.000-04:00

Dear Uncle Sam:

You suck.

That is all.

© 2006 CM

Just When You Least Expect It

2006-06-26T09:03:00.000-04:00

Why is it that unexpected and unpleasent things happen at the most inopportune moments? Why is it that I am cosmically challenged and must always have an unexpected repair or expense when there is no money for it?

Case in point: the truck. The family and I were out yesterday for a little trip down memory lane in the old neighborhood. Lo and behold when the hubby stepped on the brake we heard an unmistakable grinding noise. That is NEVER good. Turns out we are down to the metal on one of the brake pads in the front and it has ruined one of the rotors. For a small care this is no biggie. For my truck it CAN be a huge deal. Not only is this truck needed to get the family around and for the hubby to go get parts and such but it costs a lot more to fix the truck then an ordinary car.

The issue with this is that we are still catching up financially with me having swtiched jobs. It is tight. Really tight and although there is light at the end of the tunnel that light is growing dimmer with each new expense.

I guess it could be worse. I do have a GREAT job and James has a well paying one so we do see that light. I can't say the same for my sister and her husband. He just lost his job and she has never worked and feels no need to with two kids and pregnant with another she thinks he should carr y the financial load. On top of that they just signed for a home. Owner financed but still a higher payment than they were making before and him without a job and only one car between them.

I suppose I will rob Peter a little more and pay Paul and come up with whatever money is needed to survive and pay the bills without anything getting repossessed, foreclosed on or turned off. In the meantime my husband is at home trying to fix our truck with only my cousin's help.

© 2006 CM

Teacher Might Be Dismissed for Pictures

2006-06-16T10:39:00.000-04:00

She posed topless, and now she could lose her job. An Austin High School art teacher could lose her job after school officials found photos of her on a Web site.

Right now, Tamara Hoover is on paid suspension. Her attorney, Jay Brim, says AISD wants to get rid of her for good. Brim said he thinks this is the reason the topless pictures of Hoover were put on a Web site.

Hoover's attorney says she did pose topless, but she never gave permission for the topless pictures to be on the Web for everyone to see.

Still once the school found out, Hoover was suspended on May 19.

An investigation began, and then Hoover was essentially told the district wanted her gone, but her attorney believes it's apples and oranges.

"We have an art teacher here, and she was in her private life acting out what her education and background had taught her. It's a difficult situation for the district because they believe damage is done to Ms. Hoover's reputation," Brim said.

Tisha Padilla is an Austin High School student and one of Hoover's former art students.

"Compared to the other art teachers, I liked her the best," Padilla said.

"I think she has a right to keep her job only because the Web site has nothing to do with school. Those kind of pictures are not bad pictures. Just things she thinks is pretty, beautiful," Padilla said.

"Art comes in different forms and her being an art teacher, this is a form of art, and so I think that the school should recognize that," Mona Acosta, who supports Hoover, said.

Hoover is pleading for help on her MySpace Web page. She's asking for donations so she can defend herself at a hearing after the school district decided to begin her termination.

Photographer Celesta Danger says anyone who considers her pictures pornographic is sorely mistaken.

"This is Tamara first thing in the morning. I ran into her room and took a picture with her face all puffy. Her eyes still sealed shut. How the hell is this pornographic?" Danger said.

Danger posted pictures of her girlfriend, Hoover, on her Flickr.com. One of the pictures posted on Danger's Web page at Flickr.com suspended Hoover as an art teacher at Austin High School.

"When you take pictures of someone nude out of context, it's going to look much different. There is a narrative, there is a story. This is life as it's happening. These are things that happen. People take showers. People are naked sometimes," Danger said.

We showed the pictures in question to parents. We got a mixed reaction. Laura Mercer thinks Hoover should absolutely lose her job.

"You want to make sure that the people that are influencing your children are conducting a lifestyle you would want your children to aspire to. And, I wouldn't want my children to aspire to this kind of lifestyle," Laura said.

Laura's husband, Everett, agrees with Danger. He says like it or not, it's life and it's art. It shouldn't have anything to do with Hoover's job.

"It's certainly something I wouldn't approve of. But, I don't think someone should get fired for something they're doing in their personal life," Everett said.

Tuesday afternoon, AISD issued a statement saying: "Please know that AISD has no intention of infringing upon a person's legitimate rights to free speech and expression. However, public school educators are legally held to a higher moral standard, in order to protect the young lives they influence."

Now, despite the controversy, the pictures are still online. Danger says it's her art, and she decides what to do with it. Hoover does plan to fight for her job and to keep her teaching certificate.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Remind you of anyone? (www.dooce.com)

I can't stand that what is happening in her personal life is affecting her professional one. I heard about this yesterday morning on the Kiss FM Bobby Bones Radio show (see: www.khfi.com) when they were going to send a radio personality out on the street to raise money for the teacher's legal fees. Now this isn't to say that I agree with the way he did it (Hold up a sign saying "Boobies Make Me Learn Better") but I applaud the effort none the less.

I understand that a teacher is held to a higher standard but come on! You can see more than that on "Skinimax" after 10:00 each night.

We live in Austin, Texas for pity's sake. This is one of the most liberal and art-friendly cities in the nation. Driving down sixth street in the middle of the afternoon will probably get you a view of an old man's derrierre in a thong and high heels (ie Leslie-and if you live in Austin you know what I am talking about.)

I might feel differently if the woman were an elementary teacher or if she was advertising the fact that the pictures were out there but she is a highschool art teacher and she didn't even give permission for the picture to be taken! That's like my company firing me over something that YOU posted ABOUT me.

How is any of this right?

Sicky Sickerstein

2006-06-05T18:03:00.000-04:00

All weekend my man has been feeling poorly and horrible wife that I am I felt little simpathy for him. I actually told him he was being a baby at one point.

Now though, I feel like crap for that. Because he just got back from the doctor and of course he has strep throat. So when I was telling him that it was just a stomach thing and he didn't need any antibiotics, yeah. I was wrong. I am woman enough to admit it.

So this morning I had to look up my new health insurance information so that he could go tot he doctor and get his meds. That alone took a freaking hour.

Why is it that some companies still think that an extensive prompt menu on a customer service line is a good idea? I mean, this is my business and I happen to know that this is just going to piss the customer off. Just freaking connect me with a REAL person! I don't want to talk to your system. I don't want to be told your policies or promotions either.

Anyway, I'll just step off of my little soapbox now.

There, that's better.

I did manage to take care of it all and get him in and diagnosed and cared for.

What worries me now is that this man gets SERIOUS strep throat. He is really suceptible to it. The last time it permenantly ruined his singing voice and he was coughing up blood.

I really hope that it was caught in time to keep him from getting so seriously sick. On the same note, I hope that no one else catches it. My kids especially but my grandmother and grandfather as well.

I called them to come watch the kids while James went to the doctor and my grandfather drove James to the office. Unfortunately, strep really effects my grandmother hard. Then my grandfather is having back surgery in two days time and of course he can't be sick at all when he goes in to get cut on.

Worrying, however, is not going to make any of it go away, so I guess I will just have to address the issue as it arises.

I can tell you that with my kids at home with my hubby who is feeling poorly, my house is going to be a wreck. Not that I blame him. If I was diseased and running a fever I wouldn't clean either.

I will have to cater to him tonight and possibly even tomorrow night depending on how he feels. I do know that he wanted a penicillin shot in the doctors office and I wonder if he actually got it or if he settled for the pills alone.

I will assume he still feels bad cause he is not answering his phone either.

© 2006 CM

Toobs, Burns and Beer

2006-06-01T09:13:00.000-04:00

Memorial Day has come and gone. James and I gathered up about 15 friends and went floating down The Comal river. Had a blast! EXCEPT for one of the girls who went got realy drunk and then got obnoxious.

I do have to say that if you are going to be out in the sun then you should reapply your sunscreen every twenty minutes. Cause apparently 3 times in 4 hours is NOT enough.

I'm off to apply Aloe to my tummy AGAIN! OW!

© CM 2006

I'll be here for years

2006-06-01T09:02:00.000-04:00

Turns out that blogging when starting a new job and getting used to a new routine is really tough. Unfortunately I have not been able to keep up with my blogging like I should have. Once again, I am slacking in the blogging department. Forgive me for it but I thought that getting used to the new job was more important than putting all this out here.

I will say that I am going to love doing this new job. While it is in the same field that I have been working in for the last seven years it is a completely different atmosphere. For the first time ever I have found a company for whom TRUST is a core value. I'm not talking about trust the customer or the "corporate trust" that most of us are used to but REAL trust. This company believes that when you say something or do something that you are being honest and upright. They require no documentation and do not require you to prove yourself. They assume that you are the best person for the job and they want to do everything they can to keep you.

The benefits of this job are amazing! I have started a new workout plan here at work on my lunch hour and now have insurance and lots of perks for my family. Yesterday I was assigned my desk and given time to set up my workstation. Today, more training and more hands on stuff.

Getting used to the new schedule has been interesting. Its okay for me but for James it kinda sucks cause he is now working nights and trying to sleep during the day. The kiddos do keep him up every now and then and when he sleeps good then they are tearing the house apart. I am attempting to make sure that EVERYTHING is put up and locked up before I leave in the morning. AND my WONDERFUL husband is cooking breakfast for me each morning as he arrives home.

I think I will be here for a long while. The company is really interested in keeping their employees so it will be good for me to get settled in. Plus, as mentioned before, they pay really well.

© CM 2006

Ninety To Nothing.....

2006-05-17T09:40:00.000-04:00

I am at work right now and I just can't think straight. I don't want to be here, I want to be at home chilling out for the next few days and getting ready to start a new, exciting thing with Apple. I am only here cause we need the money, but I am just gonna leave today after they do my exit interview. I am going to tell them why they lost an employee of five years and then I am going to go gather up my things and leave the building. For good. Saturday is supposed to be my last day but I just can't make it. I can't put the pretense of giving a shit out there for this company anymore. I have like three things I need to do today outside of work and I have to be home by 6:15pm so that James can go to work tonight.

They put him on nights early, which is good because then he can get used to the hours before I start to work my day job. This will be his first night driving to Dallas and honestly I want to get home so I can watch the kids and make sure he gets enough sleep to make this drive comfortably.

We were up really late last night too. I am beat. We decided to put a shelf over the big screen to hold all of the components. That way the baby can't get to any of it while James is sleeping during the day. Took a while to figure out why the HD picture was all screwy but we got it figured out. We also bought some child locks for our fridge and freezer and for the knife drawer and the pantry. There are chain locks on the outside doors and I made sure I locked the office and my bathroom door when I left the house this morning. Hopefully that caught the majority of stuff that the kids can get into. I think I might set the cable box and TV to come on to NOGGIN at about 8 am, so that the kids can just get up and watch it while Daddy tries to get some sleep.

We are going tubing on Memorial Day this year. It's gonna be crowded but that's cool cause the river is awesome when there are people to party with. Looks like there are five comming with us so far and we have invitations with three more pending. Plus we are meeting 5 or 6 there. So big group ourselves.

Homegirl will not be drinking this time around though. Last time Mr. Crown Royal and I had a royally good time. I swear I have NEVER been that drunk in public before. Things started spinning, I was drunk singing, and I almost drowned. No thank you. Please note: if you are sitting down in a tube and drinking alot and wondering why you aren't feeling drunk and you have had quite a bit, JUST WAIT. When you stand: You will then FALL back down. I promise. I was there. I did it. It hurt.

Looks like we are heading back out to The Comal this time. I do want to go to the Gaudalupe this summer at some point though. I hear its a little rougher and more fun. We do have someone going with us again this year who can't swim so the Comal it is. Plus it's lazier and cool for drinking. It goes right past the back of Schlitterbaun, so there will be lots of people there. One ride in Schlitterbaun actually empties into the river too.

I need to buy a new bikini. I think I'll look this afternoon when I leave work. I need to get a new set of RCA cables for the DVD player and that will be the perfect opportunity to kill two birds. Gotta go mail off my gas bill too.

I hate that company! They cut you off if you are a week late, but they will not accept a payment online or by phone unless you pay them a $15.00 fee for it. But of course the US Mail takes forever for the payment to reach them too. So I have to send my freaking gas bill early to be sure it gets there!

On top of that I need to be back here at 5:45 to sell on of my son's power wheels that he no longer uses. I forgot to load the damn thing this morning so I can't just call her and have her come pick it up early. I have to go get it and come back to sell it to her. But its extra money for something that was just collecting dust and taking up room in my garage.

I have to get into shape. You know I go through a kick like this once a month usually. And, strangely, it's always around the time I gain 10 pounds due to bloating. I can fitting into the size I do now. I am okay with it, but when I can't fit that due to water retention it just pisses me off. And that doesn't even take into account my regular pissed offishness that happens this time of the month anyway.

Mother's Day was good. I had to work, which sucked, but I came home to a clean house and an AWESOME dinner and a new vaccumm. Not the most romantic gift but very practical and I happen to LOVE the thing, so it's all good. My kiddos didn't do anything for me specifically this year, but they did help clean up the house and they made me laugh so all is good. I did tell James that I want handmade stuff from the kiddos next year that I can keep and put away for memories sake. I know I'll get something like that from Dylan since he'll be in school but we'll see if James helps the girls do something. I dont' think that he is into handmade gifts for father's day, but I might need to ask him. Plus it'll be good for the babies to do a little artsy project since they ALL LOVE to draw and color.

So that's all for now. All the craziness running through my head is now here so maybe I can get a little bit of work done before I ditch the company completely.

© 2006 CM

Take This Job and.......

2006-05-10T13:19:00.000-04:00

Did you know that it if you get another job offer you automatically start to do things that could get you fired at your previous job? It's called the "what-are-they-going-to-do? Fire-me?" condition. No really! It's a medical fact. A real live disease! See I'll prove it: (Insert bogus scientific facts here....)

So now you believe me right?

Fine, don't take my word for it. You just watch...it'll happen to you.

I got an offer from "BAD ASS COMPANY WHO TREATS THEIR EMPLOYEES LIKE HUMANS" on Friday. I was driving at the time. Nearing wrecked the freaking truck when they quoted my salary. I had to button my lip; lest they find out I would have taken less and been happy with it. God forbid they find out that they are totally overpaying me. Not that my skills aren't worth like millions, but hey no body has ever offered to pay me WHAT I'M WORTH before. I thought it was a dead gesture. Like chivalry. Or (for some very unlucky women) foreplay.

I had to call the hubby and ya know, clear it through him. *I knew I was gonna take the job, just wanted to brag about how much I'll be making first.* You should have heard the profanity, (the shocked happy kind) that came out of his mouth when I told him what I would be making hourly. Just a little side note: It's more on base pay than he makes on overtime. Yup, you can say it, I'M A GODDESS!!

By the way: He is totally secure in his masculinity and is cool with me making more than him. Kinda. Hee hee.

When I called HR CHICK back and told her I would take the job she totally didn't remain professional but got all giddy about it. *RWR* (cock head to the side and put on blank confused face like Scooby Doo).

She proceeds to regale me with tales of the interview panel's impressions of me. Apparently, I am exactly what they were looking for. They wanted to hire me on the spot, but because of the whole *equal opportunity* and *hiring process* thing they had to wait but I was always at the top of the short list. She said when I told her that I needed to call my husband they were afraid I would turn the job down and that's why she was giddy now that I had accepted. Hmmmmm....

Maybe I should have held out a little longer...think they would have ponied up for more cash if I had? Wonder if they wanted me that bad?? Ahhh what if....

Anyhoo. Couldn't WAIT to put in my notice at ASSJOCKEYS 'R' US. Called and got the email addy of the HR WITCH later that afternoon and put in my two weeks notice, exactly three hours after verbally accepting the offer from COMPANY EXTRORDINAIRE. I am not laurel-sitter! No sir-ee.

Since then I have taken off work when I shouldn't have, been late from breaks and lunches (like one minute, but hey for this ANAL group, it counts) and have been a roaming visitor to some of my favorite blogs while using company computer terminals on the weekends. NO JUDGEMENT. Yeah that means you! It's totally dead here on weekends and I can only nap so much. *shhhh* Don't tell anyone. Oh yeah, wait.

"What are they going to do? Fire me?" Please!!! I am just here to collect a paycheck for the next two weeks 'til I leave this hell-hole for a haven of employment.

Ok, so time to gush about the new place. They have casual dress. So yeah! No spending my hard-earned cash on more clothes to work in. Totally makes sense! NOBODY is going to see me on the phone. They need to hear my voice, which will be a lot happier if I am wearing my comfy jeans instead of worrying about slacks that crawl up my crack. Sorry for the VISUAL, but hey, it's a nice ass, so lucky you.

They pay you more money to pay for your medical benefits. So like hardly any money toward my medical fees. Ummm... Oh Oh! Fitness center on site for employees! Home girl will be sweatin' the calories off my hips 'stead of eating my way through the cafeteria (which they also have) during lunch.

Discounts on their products: Nice ones. And these are great products. I know you have seen the commercial of the silhouette dancing around with the headphones in? Yeah those.

So long story short (too freaking late) I have a medical condition that makes me not give a crap about my job but this will be cured miraculously on May 22, 2006. Good to know it's only a temporary malady huh?

© 2006 CM

Comming to Terms with It.....

2006-05-03T09:57:00.000-04:00

I have spent the last few weeks getting used to the anger and sense of betrayal I felt when my friend demoted me in her wedding party. I have found myself over the last few days looking past her myspace page and wanting to pop in a comment to say hi and then realizing that I am supposed to be mad at her. Really though, I don't want to be mad. And to be honest, not talking to her for the last little while has not effected my life much in the long run. Maybe she was right to choose someone who is closer to her. Someone that she talks to or sees everyday and someone that if they had a patch like she and I have had recently that she would notice more than I have.

Most of the anger I think was put there by being asked and then being UN-asked. Not the most pleasant situation you know. But I have to give the girl a little bit of slack. More than I have been giving anyway. At least right now. Planning a wedding is tough stuff. Not everyone is going to get what they want, including the bride, and it's hard to deal with that I guess. Having been married for a while I forgot the total chaos and upheaval that my life was in while planning my own wedding. Let's see, in just a few days all of this happened:

1. My sister accused James of child abuse.

2. My future in-laws witnessed my sister trashing them.

3. My bridesmaids gave my toast because my maid of honor refused.

4. My sister kicked my aunt in the bathroom at my reception, because she was told she was being a bitch (Which she was.)

5. In every wedding picture I have my maid of honor is frowning, except those that she took with her friends.

6. A person I barely know asked to be seated with my family in the wedding and asked if she could walk down with MY MOM!!

7. I had to kick this person out of the bridal room when getting ready for the wedding. MORE THAN ONCE.
8. Out of 150 confirmed guests: only 75 showed up.

9. The sausage burnt for the reception.

10. My great uncle kept my grandmother talking and she was late to the wedding. We had to hold the wedding for her and my grandfather to get there.

11. My mom was kidding around and told me that the groom skipped out, I cried my eyes out until she fessed up. RIGHT BEFORE THE WEDDING. I got married with puffy eyes, but it was okay because I was crying during the whole wedding anyway.

12. I was crying during the ceremony so hard that I had a hard time getting the words "I take you as my husband." out of my mouth.

13. I had a huge fight with my sister the night before the wedding right outside the reception hall where I told her that I thought her marriage wouldn't last a year, but I helped her more than anyone else at her wedding and why couldn't she do the same for me?

14. Some of my flowers froze in the walk-in fridge that we put them in.

15. My dad couldn't be found for the father-daughter dance, so I had to do it later.

16. My neighbor flirted with and tried to steal everyone's husbands at the reception.

17. I was so pissed at my sister and the lack of people that had confirmed that I threw back three successive shots of tequila and then proceeded to get roaring drunk like an hour later.

18. THEN...on my first anniversary where I was supposed to eat my cake top: I couldn't find it becuase my mom had switched mine and my sister's. So she ate my top on her anniversary and I was NOT about to eat hers!! Hello? Remember I didn't think her marriage would last.

But even with all of that, it was beautiful day. The ceremony was wonderful and the food was perfect. I didn't speak to my sister for a long time after my wedding for all the stuff she pulled either.

I think on this score I can afford to be a little bit generous. I am still upset that she doesn't make the effort but maybe I just need to put this friendship on the "we catch up every now and then" pile and go from there.

I do have plans to go out with James and three other friends on Thursday night where we will meet up with five or six other friends and maybe that will all turn out well.

I do need to find someone that I have more in common with. Someone who likes to go out and do things but at the same time loves to be home. I am reconnecting with someone I knew a long time ago as well on Thursday and I missed her. She and I REALLY need to get together more often than we do.

With kids it's hard to keep friendships going. When do you have the time? Especially with people who don't have kids.

And it's really a catch 22 because if your friends have kids then they have a hard time getting out without them just like you do and if they don't have kids then you are the one who is holding everyone up and they don't understand your world cause they don't have little munchkins running around.

Ah....cest la vie!

© 2006 CM

Random Randomness on a Sunday Morning

2006-04-30T08:35:00.000-04:00

First of all: I am licked! Soooooo sleepy. I seem to do this to myself every weekend. I think it is the knowledge that I can sleep in on Monday that allows me to stay up until 2 or so in the morning (doing nothing more than cleaning or watching TV or cooking) and then get up at 6 am to go to work. That and the knowledge that the weekend crowd asking for "customer service" is a very slim little crowd. I will not get many calls today or have to do much of anything. Which is great, because I am conserving energy for tonight.

Which brings me to my second point: GREY'S ANATOMY tonight!! New episode. I'm psyched! Can't wait to see what Shonda has decided to get our characters into next. Rest assured that I will be buying season 2 just as I did season 1.

Thirdly: What is with people these days? I'm going to say this once and only once: If you have something to say then say it. I am a big girl and I can take it. BUT, BIG BUT, if you don't have the guts to put your name on it then it is just senseless drivel. So you see, darling anonymous, that is what I think of you and what you think: senseless drivel. Unless you wanna come out of the woodwork? Then we can have a real discussion and agree to disagree on how ridiculous you really are. Trust me, I have had my stuff picked apart and tossed around by a pro. You, little darling, do not scare me.

Fourth: Out of the mouths of babes....comes the filth they hear from their parents. Someone really should be watching their language more closely. Those words just do not carry the same conotations when comming out of a two year olds mouth. And you can't really punish them for saying it. They learned it from you, so a gentle rebuke is needed and then zip your lip skippy. Geeze, you kiss your mother with that mouth?? (Well, I don't kiss my mother, period, anymore..... but I digress).

Fifth: Fajitas and Smirnoff Twists do not mix. Went to a friends house last night for a little get together for their son. Waited FOREVER for the fajitas to be done and when they were my little brainiac ass went to eat them with my drink of choice. Yeah, don't do that. Yuk.

Sixth: A is for Apple. They called on Friday!! They said that my background check came through fine. (Thank God no one knows about that mexican prositution ring I have going, and lord forbid if they found out about my twice yearly visits to Teijuana to smuggle black market vicodin across the border.)**Should I not have put that on a public forum??** BACK TO THE POINT!! I'm getting all excited and worked up....Anyhoo, she advised me that she cannot formally offer the position as of yet since they were still doing paperwork and they will not be making any offers until the middle of the week but that I would be hearing from her then. WOOOO HOOOO!!!

Seventh: You ever think about what you would do if you suddenly came into LARGE amounts of cash? Like the lottery for example. I know, kinda rednecky huh? Oh well, just comtemplate, if you will, what exactly would you purchase and for whom?
I have a young gentleman in my world, who happens to be related to me, who, should I win the lottery, would be SET! This kid is a saint amoung teenagers (does that even exist?) and is always available if I need a hand with the kids, or for a movie, whatever, he is just...plain...THERE for me and my immediate family. Wanna guess what the kiddo wants? A Ferrari and/or a Ducati. Yep, he's 16. It's all about cars and bikes....nuff said.

So today I think I'll close with the hope that today at work goes well (ie: I can take a little nappy-poo on the desk) and that my house will not be destroyed by toddler monsters when I get home. I will pray for lots of activity to wear the little boogers out so mommy can put them to bed before the big show tonight and then maybe do some mommy and daddy cuddling while we lose ourselves in the drama that is Seattle Grace Hospital....

© 2006 CM

The Old Red Eye

2006-04-26T17:27:00.000-04:00

I think I have pink eye....

Ew.... and Ow....

That is all.

Welcome to Stupidville.....

2006-04-23T10:21:00.000-04:00

See this chick here? Sexy right? Put together. All there.

NOT.

I. AM. A. DUMB. ASS.

There, I said it. BEFORE you did. Wanna know why?

Good, I'm not gunna tell ya. Kidding. Yes, I am. That's why I'm writing it in a blog, hello?!?!

Ok, so I mentioned that I had a house built last year. Right? Big beautiful house. LOVE my house.

Come home yesterday, small arguement with the husband. He doesn't want to listen to me so leaves the room and goes to the bedroom. I take exception and wish to finish said discussion in bedroom. I go to follow.

Door is locked.

Uh Oh. I wigged. ON THE DOOR.

I kicked the SHIT out of my beautiful bedroom door, that I paid extra to get the special six panel ones too. THEN, as if that wasn't enough I did it again.

And again. Then I was done. But that last kick, yeah the last one that got the rest of the frustrated rage out, that one.....

Kicked a hole in my door. ARRGGHHH!!!! Now I have to replace the door.

Dumb blonde. Maybe next time I'll try going for a run or something more productive that isn't going to cost me money.

So stupid.

© 2006 CM

What is a BLOG anyway???

2006-04-22T09:35:00.000-04:00

I got a phone call from the hubby last week asking my what I had posted on his blog recently. I answered that there were a lot of things and that I would need to read it to him. He told me he would look at it when he got home.

I wondered why all of a sudden he was interested in what was on the blog I created for him. When approached later, it turns out I offended someone with the content of what I wrote on his blog. Now....since I am the only one maintaining it, and he's not interested I culd just change it to my blog ABOUT him, but whatever....

That and the fact that I basically just trashed a former friend for her actions and posted her picture for the world to see gave me a little notion that I might need to justify my writing. I hate that I need to do this but realize that what I write is my business. I put it out there and I am sorry if it pisses you off that I do then refrain from giving me fodder for my blog.

So I decided that I would post my opinion of what a blog is. In doing this I figured I should do a little bit of research as well. When checking Wikipedia.com (the free online encylopedia) I located a defination for a personal blog, which this is. I will post it here:

PERSONAL BLOG: In common speech, the term blog is often used to describe an online diary or journal, such as LiveJournal. The blog format allows inexperienced computer users to make diary entries with ease. People blog poems, prose, illicit thoughts, complaints, daily experiences, and more, often allowing others to contribute. In 2001, mainstream awareness of online diaries increased dramatically.
Online diaries are part of the daily lives of many teenagers and college students. Friends use blogs to communicate with each other, keeping each other up-to-date with events and thoughts in a non-intrusive manner. The appeal of this form of communication is that the recipient can read whenever it is convenient, and the writer does not need to remember who still needs to be updated with certain pieces of information - it is there, waiting, for whenever people wish to read it.

Now, I'm not a college student (well, not right now anyway) and I'm surely not a teenager and haven't been for a few years now. But, I do enjoy writing and I need to get my thoughts out there on a page every now and then. I like feedback and knowing what others think about my personal thought process. Both this blog and the hubby's are team blogs and those are slightly different because they allow the opinions of all parties who are part of the team.

To tell you the truth there are occasions when I have a half-baked idea of a concept or an opinion and an open discussion can solidify what I think about it. I like for the internet world to read what I think and what I say and tell me what they think.

In fact, and I will never link this or refer to it ever again, but I posted a while back and one of the comments I recieved let me know that another blogger had copied my post to his own blog and he had proceeded to tear apart my writing. Now, this was not appreciated in any way, but it is his right to do so as a member of the online community. I put it out there and he picked it up and lobbed it back at me.

You are entitled to your opinion of whatever I write, just as you are to whatever I say. But I will say this: Just because you don't like the subject matter or agree with it does not mean that I will take it down to please you.

I don't care who you are. You cannot control the flow of information and last I checked it was part of my right as an American citizen to say anything I please. I will try to stay true to the facts as much as possible and sometimes that will not reflect well on you. I'm sorry, but that is the way I was feeling at the time.

You think I'm wrong you are welcome to comment on it and have the guts to put it out there in the public as much as I did.

© 2006 CM

The Loss of Innocence

2006-04-19T11:53:00.000-04:00

There are some people that you have in your life that you feel know you better than anyone else. Those people who went through childhood or adolence with you and know you to the core. They were there when you became the person you are and no matter how many changes you go through they still know YOU at the heart. Or so I thought. One of my closest friends from high school was this person for me. She and I have kept up over the years. Every few weeks we would talk about what was going on in the other one's world.

We have both done seperate things with our lives. She went off to college in Corpus Christi and met a man that she lived with and jst got engaged to. She is just now planning her wedding in September and has graduated college with her bachelors. She is living near Dallas with his family and working in Human Resources. While I got pregnant right out of highschool and have three kids and am married. I just bought my first home and although I am not on the career path that I would have liked yet I am getting there.

I thought that all of these things were just trappings though. I thought that when it came down to it we still cared and loved one another just as we had years ago. For the last few years I guess I have blinded myself though. She comes into the area quite often to visit her family and drives right past my house when she does. Yet I have seen her 5 times in six years, one of those being my own wedding. I haven't gone to Dallas, because I have no reason to, but if I were to go I would call her.

She never let me know when she was in town either so that we could hook up for a quick lunch or go get a drink or just hang out at the house and catch up a little. She wasn't the one to call me, but rather I was the one to call her.

Honestly, I was probably holding on to this too hard because I have very few friends that I trust the way that I trusted her. It is not easy for me to connect with people and I lose touch very easy. So, in hindsight I feel like the biggest fool for attempting to maintain a friendship that she was not interested in anymore.

She was the biggest shit about breaking this to me too. A few months ago I sent her a message letting her know, "hey, no pressure, and I don't expect anything but I just wanted to know if I am bridesmaid so that I can start saving money and seeing if there is anything I should be doing to help you out". She responded with "OF COURSE YOUR A BRIDESMAID.....yadda yaddda wedding details and junk" Right??

Then I get a message yesterday saying that she had changed her mind and she didn't want me as a bridesmaid but wanted me to greet guests and pour champagne, etc. She said she needed a people person for this and PLEASE would I do it. Oh yeah, and don't be pissed.

WHAT?!!? Ok. She's my best friend. (Obviously, I'm not hers.) She doesn't want me to be her matron of honor. She doesn't even want me to be a bridesmaid. She wants to give me pity job so that I won't feel bad that she changed her mind and "no longer feels a connection with me".

"Ummm.. yeah. No thanks. You can take that offer and shove it. I don't need to be your friend. You don't have the balls to say your done then I do." was the summary of my response.

She comes back with she wants me at the wedding but wants people she has a REAL connection to in it.

I don't even want to go to this wedding now. I would have to park my ass in a pew and watch her get married with all of our mutual friends beside her EXCEPT me. Knowing that I was a part of that and because I have kids and a family and she decided to move to Dallas that I am not anymore.

Well thank you so much for the emotional beating but you can keep it.

I don't want to see her anymore. This feels like a relationship break up. I mean. I'm bisexual but I never felt that way about her and yet a relationship of 10 years is just going down the tubes.

At this point I am still really hurt by her actions. Why couldn't she just say that she felt this way? I feel humiliated that I have been "Chasing" her for the last few years. Like a puppy begging for any crumb of affection.

So yeah, she got a eff off letter and I'll just close that little chapter in my life with another lesson learned. Just another wall built around my heart. Someone else I trusted who let me down. Just goes to show that you can't really trust anyone completely. Rely on thyself.

© 2006 CM

An Apple A Day.......

2006-04-12T17:45:00.000-04:00

I got a long awaited phone call on Monday. A lifeline was thrown out to me in this cesspool of corporate nothingness that I seem to be caught up in. Apple Computer called me back in reference to the resume I submitted to them.

I did the little schmooze on the preliminary phone interview on Monday afternoon and then on Tuesday Ms. HR called me to schedule an in-person with three upper-level managers on Monday. Needless to say, though I will, is that I am so excited I could pee my pants. Ok, bad image, but you get it.

There are some issues with the position, but nothing I can't work with, especially since I hear they pay EXTREMELY well. The shift would be rotating and only from 8 to 8 with some weekends. This is not an issue for me but more for my kiddos, ie. childcare issues.

I have considered calling my sister to see if she would be willing to help me out in exchange for some financial compensation that she could certainly use, but I have decided to wiat on that as I still don't know if I will prove to be as great as is required to work for this amazing company.

The position offers a great benefit package, medical, dental, 401K, discounts on Apple products, etc. Not to mention the on-site fitness center and no dress code for the site. I am probably putting the cart before the horse by posting this here but it seems I have no choice, cause if I don't post it here I might just start jumping around, and screaming randomly.

So, send good vibes for the interview and stay well.

Marking Your Territory??

2006-04-12T10:07:00.000-04:00

I had always heard that if you acquire a new pet, especially a male dog, that he will urinate to "mark his territory". I have even heard that if they have a major change in situation they would do the same. I wasn't aware however, that this would be the case with my little man.

I suppose it should have occurred to me since men of all types are facinated with that little appendage between their legs. I mean, it DOES occupy most of their time. I just had the apparently mistaken impression that once potty trained I would not have to deal with issues like this again.

I am a little bit confused as to why this happened. I did spend most of the day after having figured it out with my mouth open just shaking my head, absolutely confused as to where my little man would get the idea that this action was a positive one, or even, HOW it would occur to him to do it.

Let me back up a little bit here.

I went into his room a few nights ago to tuck him in and make sure he was bedded down for the night. When entering the room I noticed a smell that was a little bit off, but not very distinctive yet. So, I went into search mode and like a mommy bloodhound I thought I found it when I located a bannana that he had snuck into his room behind his toy chest. Now there was also an empty coke can and the floor around it was wet.

I assumed from all of this that he had snuck an bannana and a coke into his room and spilled it. Since he knows it is against house rules for any food or drink to be out of the kitchen he covered it up hoping that I wouldn't find it.

The kid is 5. He still thinks he can get away with stuff like this. I thought that the wierd smell was comming from the mildewy smell of something damp.

I got out the carpet cleaner and at 10:30 at night cleaned up the mess, then tucked Little Man in and went to bed.

The next morning it seemed though that the smell was worse and I checked three or four times that day to find it. No luck. Now I'm completely confused and have it on my list to buy some type of bacteria-killing deodorizer.

Go to bed that night and at about 4:30 in the morning I am awakened by an unusual noise, but after listening for a few minutes I don't hear it again so I close my eyes to drift off to sleep and there it is again.

Water hitting carpet.

My first thought is his name! I know he sneeks into my room in the middle of the night and makes a pallet on his Dad's side of the bed, so there is a good chance it is him. But there is no answer to my call. I get up and look.

He is bare-butt on the floor pretending to sleep and there is a wet spot just under the side of my bed with no water/coke in sight. And it smells of ammonia in the room.

I get him up and take him to his room and put him in his bed. When walking back to my room to clean up the mess it occurs to me that the smell in his room has to be urine.

I did clean both carpets with a stem cleaner and spray anti-bacterial deodorizer.

I just don't understand what triggered this. I don't get what is the reason that he would randomly forgo the toilet. There have been no major changes in our world just recently and things seem to be on a pretty even keel. He is talking about school alot more. Since he starts in the fall he and I talk about it alot to get him ready for it, but that has been going on for months now....

So confused. I really hope this doesn't keep up. Ahh...the joys of parenting.

Screaming In the Night

2006-04-09T12:04:00.000-04:00

Oy!

Do you have any idea what it does to your R.E.M. cycle to have a blood-curdling shreek issued out in the dead of the night while the whole house is sleeping?

I do.

It sucks.

Sooooo tired.

Here I am at about 4:30 am doing what any sane person would be doing in the middle of the night, sleeping. All cosied up in my comfy bed. Cuddled up next to hubby. Having some weird dream that was not altogether unpleasant and....

HOLY EFFIN GOD!

A shreek of "MOOOOOMMMMYYYYY!! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" jerks me awake.

I literally leap out of the bed and sprint toward the sound of the noise, with a still sleep-clogged brain, calling his name. Right?

All's well and good, mommy is on the way. You see, by this point I have recognised the cry and know, in that mommy-way, that it is not an injury cry. This is a "I got the bejesus scared out of me" cry.

Ok, so don the comforting mommy voice. By this time I am in my living room, stark naked, calling for my son.

Then it hits me.....I am in my living room, stark naked, AND my 16 year old cousin is sleeping on my couch.

Well, he WAS sleeping on the couch.

Now, luckily he is looking in the direction of the caterwalling and not at his admittedly gorgeous, but totally naked, and therefore completely inappropriate cousin. Yeah.

So, I go into HOLY SHIT mode and dart back to my room, doing the peeking-around-the-door-jamb-with-just-my-little-head-poking-out thing 'til the runt comes in my room.

Lead him to the bed. Get in the covers myself then, talk to the little booger and calm him down.

Now, I am fully awake, along with everyone else in the house but light would still hurt and I have to walk little man back to his room. Yeah, not doing that in my birthday suit, thanks.

So now I am on a mission to find a dark colored robe---in the dark.

Two stubbed toes later I am in my son's room advising him to sleep and snatching the XBOX out of his room. Which, by the way, is the thing that gave him the random willies 'cause ya know he had been playing it all day and killing aliens.

Seriouly need to have my blood pressure checked....GOOD GOD!

Family Night Out

2006-04-02T08:59:00.000-04:00

So the hubby called me at work yesterday and wanted to know if we could get a sitter for Miracle Babe and take Ms. Personality and Little Man to see Ice Age 2: The Meltdown. I was like, "Cool."

So I got my grandmother (who is only 64 by the way) to watch my baby girl and off we went to the movies.

OMG! Can you say crowded? We decided not to watch it last night because there were just too many people and we were afraid that it would just sell out too soon. So...we'll have to go watch it at some other time.

But we did decide to make a night of it and took the kiddos to Freebirds. MMMMmmmmmm.. Burritos.. So yeah. We ate it up, and wouldn't you know it but there was a Palenta Ice Cream shop right next door, so we went in for ice cream.

Ms. Personality was adorable eating her little cup of ice cream and little man was all about the cone.

We just happened to have the camera with us and took pics, but of course I am not at home where I can upload them so I'll have to do it when I get there this evening.

More to come.....

Letter to you.....

2006-04-01T15:56:00.000-05:00

Dear love of my life:

I have noticed that you have this annoying habit of calling me when you are frusterated with something. It is as though you think that this will accomplish something. Please note that I cannot magically make whatever it is you are yelling about better. If you are calling me to gripe about it then I am not there and therefore cannot change the situation.

You will have to do it. Calling me only serves to start an arguement.

Please consider this the next time you pick up the phone to ask me a question that you already know the answer to.

I don't want to fight with you, but the only thing to do when you get that way is to hear what you are saying, say I'm sorry and be silent until you hang up the phone and get over your little hissy fit.

I love you,

Me

My New Addiction

2006-04-01T10:34:00.000-05:00

Hello, my name is Crystal and I am a myspace-aholic. There I said it. Whew! I feel better.

No really. I realized that in the last two weeks I have not posted to my blog and I totally blame myspace. I am on it like all the time. I wake up and check myspace. I check it at least four times throughout the day and it is the last thing I do before I go to bed. This is sad.

I am on right now.

What is it about this insane little website that causes usually normal individuals to freak out?? Become addicted to it?? Check it all the time.

Truthfully, myspace is kind of like high school. All the cool kids have like 100,000 friends and you all talk to each other on a public forum and make bad jokes and argue about stupid stuff, yet there I am.

BAD BLOGGER! Traitor! Trust me, I am fully chastising myself for straying from the wonder that is REAL blogging.

The problem is, I think, that I can be whoever I want to be on myspace and no one can judge. I can't write EVERYTHING I think on here because, well, too many people know about this address. Think about it....my dad...reading all about my unusual sex life?? Um, no thank you. I do believe I would be to blame for the heart attack he would have and...HELLO? Could I ever face him without a blush again? I think not.

So, from now on I will double post everything that it appropriate for both sites and nothing that would give my grandfather fits....

Boycott Citgo...Thank you MILF

2006-03-11T11:28:00.000-05:00

"I came across this the other day...

Think about this the next time you buy gasoline!

Cindy Sheehan & Chavez

Venezuela Dictator Vows To Bring Down U.S. Government

Venezuela government is sole owner of Citgo gasoline company

Venezuela Dictator Hugo Chavez has vowed to bring down the U.S. government.
Chavez, president of Venezuela, told a TV audience: 'Enough of imperialist aggression;
we must tell the world: down with the U.S. empire. We have to bury imperialism this century.'

The guest on his television program, beamed across Venezuela, was Cindy Sheehan,
the antiwar activist. Chavez recently had as his guest Harry Belafonte, who called
President Bush 'the greatest terrorist in the world.'

Chavez is pushing a socialist revolution and has a close alliance with Cuban
dictator Fidel Castro.

Regardless of your feelings about the war in Iraq, the issue here is that we have
a socialist dictator vowing to bring down the government of the U.S. And he is
using our money to achieve his goal!

The Venezuela government, run by dictator Chavez, sole owner of Citgo gas co.
Sales of products at Citgo stations send money back to Chavez to help him in his vow
to bring down our government.

Take Action

Please decide that you will not be shopping at a Citgo station.
Why should U.S. citizens who love freedom be financing a dictator who has vowed to take
"

How to Never Get Ripped Off For Portraits Again.....

2006-03-11T10:40:00.000-05:00

I am a genius. No really. A photographic genius.

Ok, so that may be a bit much, but damn it I deserve some praise here. You see, at least once a year I take my kids to the dreaded portrait studio to have pictures made. This is a very well thought out and planned trip. It must be. I am taking my children somewhere that they must be happy, clean and quiet and must ALL THREE smile on cue. OMG. Do you have any idea what kind of crack the person who thought this crap up was smoking???

So, as I posted before, my daddy bought us a digital camera for Christmas. I LOVE this thing. It's freaking awesome. And the picture quality is pretty damn good if I do say so myself. More megapixels and a steady hand will do that for you.

About a month ago I am in town with the rascals pretty early in the morning. (Don't ask why...I still don't know) And its a little overcast and a little cool, but just the right weather to take the hellions to the park and let them play their little hearts out. This way they get worn out and will crash out for an hour or two when we get home. Then, Mom gets the most coveted of all things for a mommy, time for ME. So, kiddies are playing and I'm snapping photos just because, well, my kids are freaking cute!

Out of no where we hear, "quack, quack..." Crap. Ducks. You see this particular park, their favorite is near the river and it's a place that a flock of ducks hang out hoping to get fed. Of course the weather is perfect for this too. Anyway, I hear this and I brace myself to take off in a sprint. Sure enough, Ms Personality takes off, screaming, "Doks, Doks! Mommy Doks!" Ok, so in full Mommy-mode I run after her and do a little snatch-and-grab before she plunges into the murky deep.

Whew! "Let's all take a little walk. mmkk?" So on this walk I catch a glimpse of a downed tree with the river and the old bridge in behind it. The result is this photo.....

It is now the most recent portrait of my babies. No they are no completely clean and I would have liked Ms. Personalities hair to have been put up but, it's a great photo and it cost me nearly squat.

Upload that puppy and have 9 8x10's and 6 5x7's made. Total cost with tax? $20.22. Yeah. Never paying $200.00 for posed portraits again!

Mom's Night Out...Honey, Don't Kill the Kids......

2006-03-04T14:26:00.000-05:00

I am finally, finally, taking my other half up on his offer to watch the kids while I go out with some friends for dinner and drinks. So, I am a member an internet group of local moms, some of whom read this blog, (Hi guys!) and it was one of the members' birthday on March 2nd, so we are taking the opportunity to run like hell away from our spawn and do some serious gorging, serious cackling and potentially serious guzzling of alcoholic beverages.
Don't get me wrong, I love my kids. I mean LOVE them. Kill for them. But mostly I love them in a "Christ, how many times do I have to tell you that bananas do not go on the TV screen" kind of way. Ya know, the absent, not really there mumbling, while you hope they'll just go away so you can close your eyes for five seconds of peace kind of way.

And yeah, I enjoy them. They make me laugh.

Maniacally. The laugh you hear like two seconds before the potential loon next to you just wigs out! So, tonight, I get adult female conversation, peppered with a little immaturity I am sure, for what is more enjoyable than not corralling the kids but becoming a public nuisance??

Just kidding. Kind of. I plan on driving my own vehicle and if things wind down early heading out for drinks and dancing later. We'll see if any of the mammas want to come out or not Either way, I do have a few friends who do want to and I'll meet up with them if I am at a loss early on, but I refuse to set foot in that house before the stroke of midnight.

I actually want to walk out of my house looking like a home-wrecker (not that I would EVER wreck a home, I just want to knock hubby’s socks off) and when I say, “See you tomorrow, babe.” I want to absolutely follow through.

And when I have eaten too much Tex-Mex, drank enough fruity little cocktails and had my fill of shaking what the Lord gave me, I will go home, go to my daughter's rooms and wake them just to tell them how much I missed them. (Sidebar: Little Man is visiting PoPo in Marble Falls and is therefore unavailable for said hugs and mushy stuff). Then I will retreat to my bedroom, strip down and climb into bed to be snuggled next to my hubby and drift off into a relaxing sleep and hope that it won't be another 2 years before I go out with "the girls" again.

I am slacking again....

2006-03-02T13:31:00.000-05:00

Here it is Thursday and I have no HNT post up. I am aiming to participate in SPF but hell it might not happen either. The only thing I can say is that I am planning a First Birthday dinner for Miracle Babe tomorrow night and that I am painting my living room before then.

Big job. My living room is huge. Umm...I had to RUN out to the curb with the trash can...IN MY ROBE....fresh from the bath because of course it's Thursday and for some reason my little reminder on on cell phone didn't go off. Luckily it was my granny robe so I am pretty sure the trash guys didn't get a show.

Dinner with a few fellow mommies and bloggers on Saturday night at one of my fav dining establishments. It just so happens that the hubby proposed to me there approx 4 1/2 years ago. OH and my anniversary is comming up on the 8th. Three years and no honeymoon or real anniversary celebration.

We were too broke after the wedding for a honeymoon and every year since then I have be postpartum on our anniversary. This is the first year of our marriage that I haven't had a new baby in tow on my wedding anniversary. Oh and of course there is the whole no sex til six weeks thing. That sucks when your first anniversary falls in there.

Anyhoo...enough rambling... On to bigger and better things, like food and painting my living room a really nice mossy green.

© 2006 Crystal Morales

Feeling Accomplished Yet?

2006-02-25T09:09:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I got a bug up my butt about the way the house looked and decided to do something about it. Unfortunately, the place I started was the dining room where I broke out the paint and the rollers, and the brushes while the girls were napping. I managed to get the dining room wall painted and decided that I didn't have enough paint to continue the wall adjacent to the living room so, I quit and took a look around.

Well, shit. Now I had made it worse. I managed to clean the kitchen and get the dishwasher started, get some laundry going and vaccumm and mop all while trying to corral three small children and entertain my mother and cook for my husband. By the end of the night I was pooped!

Somehow this morning the little dirty elves had not yet made it up and my house was still clean. I noticed this while RUNNING out the door to make it to work on time. Yes, that's right, I am blaming my cleaning for me driving to work at 80 mph and almost being late.

I know that when I get home however, my angels and my wonderful husband will have made a mess. I am hoping since I am interviewing a babysitter tonight, in my home, right after work, that the hubs will attempt to clean up after the little monsters. But I am not setting any store in it because then if it isn't done (which it usually isn't) then I won't be dissapointed and throw a hissy before the sitter gets there.

I have already warned her that this is a possibility. Honestly, though, I am not sure I can afford her, so maybe it will be a good thing and rather than me looking at her ashamed and saying, "I am too poor for that much..." she will run screaming from the room and I won't have to think about how much this is going to cost me for ONE day a week of childcare.

Wish me luck, I can promise I will need it.

© 2006 Crystal Morales

My First SPF: Bedside Manner

2006-02-24T11:58:00.000-05:00

So I thought since I haven't really played many blog games and I enjoy everyone elses' that I would play as well this week. The theme this week direct from Kristine at Random and Odd is bedside manner. I know I'm a little late this morning posting it but here it is! Please let me know what you think and check out everyone else's SPF. Try Mrs. Dallas K for sure!

1. The inside of your nightstand drawer:

A mess isn't it? You can't tell I'm a mom or anything by the Blue's Clues book can ya? And of course there is a diaper in there in case I need one in the middle of the night? (I didn't even know it was in there...) And the romance novel. The trashy romance novel. Just a little secret: this drawer is my personal junk drawer.

2. A good book you’ve read:

This was a pretty great book, but don't read it if you have issues with depression because let me tell you the main character's struggles with bipolar disorder are hard to take. It has a big streak of murder, child abuse, and repressed memories running right alongside martial infidelity and mental illness. A very good read though.

3. Your favorite lamp:

It's kind of a cheat because this is obviously not a lamp, but it is a light and let me tell you it gives off nothing but ambient light either! But I LOVE it. The hubs picked this one out and it replaced that nasty cheap white light that comes in the house. It even has a littel remote so when I'm all tired and don't feel like getting up to turn on the light or the fan: VIOLA!

DID YOU PLAY???

© 2006 Crystal Morales

Sex Education?!?

2006-02-23T13:20:00.000-05:00

Posted From the MILF: Um....Yeah. What she said!

Butterflies Peace: "College
Ok I'm no saint, nor prude. However, this kinda
shocked me a little bit. Maybe it's just me. I mean
we had sex-education & in college took Anthropology
which opened my eyes to traditions in some cultures
that would not be ok in our culture(At least the
half-sane people). However, this caught my eye
and I wondered is it me or is this a bit much?

http://www.thepittsburghchannel.com/education/7162794/detail.html"

© 2006 Crystal Morales

I Am A Total Bitch

2006-02-23T12:02:00.000-05:00

My blog is going to get me divorced. My divorce decree will read something like, "She is cheating on me with her blog."

See this guy here? This laid back hunk? Yeah him. He is totally pissed at me.

You see I spent about, oh I don't know, two weeks not updating my blog. Life just got in the way a little bit and I was busy in the real world too much to update my posts or to change the look of the blog (because let's face it, I am still not sure I like this look).

Last night I had the time finally to get something on here done. Or rather, I made the time. I mean it's been a while right? And he knows that I blog, hell he reads and comments on it. I post some of these posts for his family in Houston and some are really just for him because I know he'll read it and it's kind of romantic to put all that out there for everyone to read huh?

It seems I made the wrong decision about what to do last night because as usual I got caught up and even when I won't on I was thinking about what I wanted to do. So, of course later I got on to do it. Then I remember that is Half Nekkid Thursday so there I go with the camera and the posts and before I know it its 2 am and he's in bed and I'm on the computer.

Now you must realize that my dear hubby works a lot of the time. He is gone from dark to dark most days and sometimes leaves at 3 am and gets home somewhere around 10 am . When he isn't working he has the kids while I work. So our time together is rare and precious. Had he had his way I would have been in bed with him the minute he arrived home at 5 pm (WOO HOO), naked and writhing on the bed. But, as this week is a bad one for that, it didn't happen.

So now my other half is sexually frustrated and is in a pissy mood because of it and he finds his wife on the computer at 2 am posting half nekkid pictures instead of in his martial bed performing various creative sex acts on him.

He's really pissed at me. He's so pissed he made an effort to call me this morning on his way to work and notify me that he thought something was wrong with the computer when he didn't see me on it.

So it looks as though I will have to post only when he is not at home for a while at least. I have some sucking up to do. No pun intended.

© 2006 Crystal Morales

Half-Nekkid Thursday # 2: Black Lace

2006-02-23T02:58:00.000-05:00

I figured we might try emulating the little HNT icon this week. Colorful ain't it? This lingerie is the only set I have bought specifically for me from a lingerie store for the purpose of seduction. I needed a little ego boost a few years ago after a particularly nasty domestic dispute and I decided that I was worth it. Therefore: the slutty black lace bra. Incidentally, this thing does nothing for active wear.

Believe me this is bedroom wear only and it is meant to come off at the first sign of any real movement.

On a side note this HNT is to boost my little ego a bit more since earlier in the week a party that will not be mentioned called me a name that was not very flattering to my figure. I have never in my life been called anything more insulting and now I will allow you all to whip up a frenzy of self esteem for me so that my usual sexy confidence returns with a vengeance.

Since I'm a little new at the HNT thing let's try a request from the audience as well. Next week, what would you suggest we focus on? I'm thinking navel. What's your take on it?

© 2006 Crystal Morales

Check out why I'm less than dressed?

Picture Updates

2006-02-18T23:45:00.000-05:00

I took the kids to the park the other day and while snapping random photos I couldn't resist this perfect set up and got a photo of the kiddos for an updated photo for the family. Do you have an idea how much more inexpensive it is to take a photo and upload it and pay for the picture to be blown up than to have studio portaits taken. The other two are of James and I being silly. I always wanted a picture on me on the hood of a truck. Bonus that its' mine...And the man in front of his beloved Halo 2 photo....

© 2006 Crystal Morales

Look Out Kelly Clarkson

2006-02-10T14:32:00.000-05:00

On Wednesday, I needed to go pick up the company vehicle and decided to take my sister with me. We had a truck load full of kids, every seat belt filled, and Little Man was riding in front with us. The truck is peaceful, and we are quietly chatting while the babies nap in the back and Little Man just chills in front.

Suddenly…out of nowhere, I hear, in a little boy voice mind you:

“Gotta catch me ridin’ dirty, gotta catch me riding dirty. Music so loud, I’m swingin’…..”

My sis flipped out. While laughing, she asks me, “Is he rapping? Did I miss that or is he rapping?”

Turns out, Little Man is destined to be the next big rapper. Think he’s too young for American Idol?

© 2006 Crystal Morales

Everybody Gettin' Tipsy

2006-02-10T14:26:00.000-05:00

James and I went out last night to the club. We have been dancing together for a long time now and it’s something that we both really love to do. We happen to be pretty good at it and can attract quite a bit of attention as well. I noticed while out last night that I really miss being in the spotlight for a few minutes. I like the looks that I get too. I know, and so does my husband, that I will never give him cause to be jealous, but it does my ego good to at least still be able to grab and hold a male gaze after three kids.

James spends more time out at the club than I do. Most often then not he’ll go without me, just to dance, and I’ll stay home with the kiddos. Unfortunately it is really difficult to find someone to watch the kids on a moments notice, especially someone that I trust and that I can afford. I know that dancing is important to my husband and it always has been so this is something that I give a little on.

A few times a month he’ll leave at 8 pm and he won’t be home until between 1am and 4am. So he has some friends that I don’t really know at this club and I met them last night. Very cool people all of them and for the most part we had a very good time.

I find that after our little dates, James and I usually reconnect very well and will have a great few weeks ahead of us. I think we really need to make the effort to do something together at least once a month.

My parents and my aunt and uncle are divorcing and it comes at a time when their kids are out of the house and they are having to find who they are as a couple again and not just a mom and dad. When they found that they have grown apart and can no longer relate to each other the way that they did when they married then they decide to divorce. I am surely hoping that James and I can be sure to maintain us as a couple.

I have come to the conclusion that a lot of what James and I bicker about has to do with never being alone. The tension builds and builds and then it just explodes into a fight. I have noticed since we went out last month and again this month that we have fought a lot less and when we have it has been only minor.

I am sure that sexual tension played a part in our past fights and I am responsible for this one. I have only recently regained my drive. It seems that during my pregnancies with both girls and even afterward while taking Depo Provera my drive was very low. I married a man with a very active sex drive and I knew this when I married him. We may only miss two or three days in a week usually. However, for the last two years it had been significantly curbed. Since regaining my drive and deciding to spend more time on us and a little less on the kids so much, we are a better couple for it.

Logically, I know that working on us is important because, well, we are the base for our family and if we aren’t solid it’s like building a house on sand. But beside that, it just feels good to be in tune with my husband, to have my life and my relationship in harmony.

© 2006 Crystal Morales

Minivan Mommy

2006-02-10T14:16:00.000-05:00

This week my job with the Big Bad Corporation offered me the use of one of the company vehicles for two days for product knowledge purposes. I ended up getting the Chevrolet Uplander. I loved it. What I really like about it was the automatic sliding passenger door. It was really convenient to walk out of the house and tell the kids to get in the van. I would press the button on the key fob and open the door and when they were in I could press it again to close it. That really helps corral them when I have my hands full of the baby and the diaper bag, my purse and all the paraphernalia that comes with having small children.

So, also on my wish list is the Chevrolet Uplander. I will get this one though. I have just got to pay off the massive beast of a truck that James just had to have. Although, I can’t really lie, I LOVE the truck too. You wouldn’t believe the looks I get when driving my dually. Guess those will go away when I’m a minivan mommy, but for the convenience I can give up the wolf whistles and the envious drooling of crazy-jealous men.

© 2006 Crystal Morales

The Mommy Questionnaire Series

2006-02-04T17:21:00.000-05:00

I ran across a website where they are publishing a parenting book and are asking for submissions of real moms in response to their motherhood questions. I decided to do this in a series on my blog as well as submit to the company. So the first in this series of in depth looks into my life as a mom.

Question #1. How has your relationship with your children's father changed after you became a mother?

James and I were not married nor were we living together when I conceived Little Man. I was eighteen and had just graduated high school. I had recently gone on a spontaneous trip for my graduation with my sister to the coast. Texas State, which was then Southwest Texas State University had just sent my confirmation of my dorm assignments for the coming fall semester. I was working almost constantly and was looking forward to going away to college and at the same time racking my brain on how I would pay for it. On top of all of that I was in love with a married man.

Whoa! Before you barbecue me... He was waiting on final divorce papers before I even started seeing him.

You see, James had made a classic mistake. He married someone that he cared about because he wanted to get out of our small town and she was in the military and going to California. He wanted to get out of Hickville and he cared about her so he didn't want to lose her. Result? He married her. Not the best decision and made in haste, but hindsight and all that right?

Well, for many reasons, some of which only the two of them are aware of, the marriage did not work and he moved out. From what I gather from him, he started to look for me again.

In case you didn't know, he and I have known each other all our lives and dated when we were in high school. Because of my age and my parents view on our relationship we only dated for a short time, but continued to be friends and really care for one another. In fact, he recently told me that he loved me even when he married his first wife. He broke my heart and that sucked, but I digress. Where was I? Oh yeah...

James started California. He finally found my high school's website which had my picture from the school play in it along with teacher contact information. Now, we lived in a small town so when this teacher got the email she took it to my next class for me. Viola!

We found each other and spent a few months talking on the phone, running up his long distance bill and chatting online until the wee hours of the morning for me and late night for him. He planned a vacation to Texas around Christmas time and when his job told him he couldn't have the entire time off, he quit.

Packed up his truck with as much as it could hold and moved back home. We started seriously dating and getting to know each other again.

Upon learning that I was pregnant we moved in together to parent the child as a unit and to go through the pregnancy together. We deliberately decided not to get married as a result of our child though. We both felt that we were not ready to be married to each other and that if we made that decision right then it might be as a result of pressure from society rather than a sense of what was best for us and the baby.

As my pregnancy developed we were still in the getting to know you phase and we hit a lot of bumps in the road. I think we came out okay for the most part though.

When Little Man came along everything changed. One of the things I remember most about my labor is that James spent the whole time sitting beside me, holding my hand with his head on the bed. Just helpless because he couldn't relieve the pain I was going through. My mom was a little difficult but I had a fantastic nurse who informed her that she was making the situation more stressful. She was even asked to leave the room at one point.

When Little Man was born, before they even had the baby ready for the cord cutting, he leaned down next to my ear and whispered "thank you". Those are the most powerful, life changing words I have ever heard.

James spent every night and all day in the hospital with Little Man and I. While I would be resting he would lie down on the little cot in the room with Little Man and just stare at him. I remember him playing music in the room and singing to the baby.

If I had not been in love with him before, this would have sealed the deal.

James stayed home with us the whole first week and then went back to work. He was always there to put in more than his share of the time with the baby and he relieved a lot of my stress getting into a routine with the baby while still getting well.

James and I didn't actually get married until Little Man was two. Our son was our ring bearer. We had a few problems in those two years and some of them were major enough that we almost ended our relationship. I think one of the main things that kept us from making that mistake was our son. It would have been very easy to end our relationship had we not had him.

We loved each other, but we would have both gone our separate ways had we not had that firm, permanent reason to stick it out and try to work on our relationship rather than just give up. Most couples have all the legal stuff to go through if they divorce. It is having to deal with each other and your lives and having that cooling off period that keeps them together. We were not in that situation and our commitment was our son.

Having children has changed me as a woman and James as a man. It has made me a better person and yet have made my life chaotic in ways only another parent can understand.

We now have three children, Little Man who is five years old today and Ms. Personality who will be 2 years old in two days, and Miracle Babe who is 11 months. They are my world and they have the ability to bring out the best parts of James and I. That's how they changed our relationship. They make us better people which in turn, makes us better spouses.

© 2006 Crystal Morales

My Own Virtual Housekeeper

2006-02-04T15:08:00.000-05:00

I ran across a really cool parental blog today. It's a collabortive effort blog called Parent Hacks. When checking out the most recent posts I became envious and greedy. I found this miracle of modern science that I am already in love with and I haven't even seen the darn thing yet.

I want it, want it, want it.

Essentially it is a vaccuum cleaner, for any floor surface, and it has a remote control and you can set it to do it's thing on it's own. For a two hour interval your floor is getting cleaned in the area that you set out to be cleaned while you are on a playdate, grocery shopping, at work, in the yard, taking a nap with the baby, whatever.

Amazon has it online and supposedly they won't post the price until you put in in your cart. Well I did and it's only $199. Alot, I know, but there are vaccuums that are more expensive. Heads up: these vaccuums have to have an operator. The Roomba does not. It can vaccuum for me.

I am so into this. Are you reading me here? Need gift ideas? Perfect for the busy mommy! ME! Please?! No? Fine. I'll get it myself!

© 2006 Crystal Morales

The Things I Love About My Husband....

2006-02-03T10:55:00.000-05:00

Ok. I ran across this when checking out my blogs for the day and am following her example. So here we go.

1. You never let me back down when my confidence falters.

2. You never let anyone take advantage of me.

3. You are the most amazing father.

4. The way you look when you are going out.

5. The way you always seem to love me more when you come home from a night out.

6. It never hurts my feelings if you give me hell about my chin or my teeth or my weight because I know that you love me anyway.

7. You can dance like no one's business and you were patient enough to teach me and make me love it.

8. You always cover for me when I am being a bitch.

9. You know my body better than I do.

10. I have the freedom to explore myself within the safwe confines of out relationship.

11. You would never let me or your children be hurt.

12. You make me laugh at myself, at other people, at you.

13. I love your eyes. They tell so much of who you are.

14. You have principles that you stick to no matter what.

15. I always feel safe with you.

16. You are never rude to a waitress/waiter but they won't get a tip if your tea glass does not stay filled.

17. I love that when you buy gifts it is always something taht alot of thought was put into.

18. I love that you came home from two weeks out of town and brought out daughter a teddy bear.

19. I love that you fall asleep when I massage you.

20. You are always available to help someone out.

21. You love my family.

22. My family loves you.

23. You don't see the pull of drugs.

24. You are always the life of the party.

25. You brought me out of my shell.

26. I can tell you anything and be honest about it.

27. You don't understand why I live to read so much.

28. You take pictures of everything cute our kids do.

29. You love me like no one ever has. No matter what.

HNT A Celebration of Legs

2006-02-02T00:53:00.000-05:00

These are my legs. They get me anywhere I need to go. They have been known to inspire lust and have also caused me pain and anguish on occasion.

Since having children, I don't like my legs as much as I once did. The thighs are larger than I would like and they are not as toned as they once were. But these are not the legs of a teenager. These are the legs of a full grown woman who is confident in herself and her abilities.

My legs are functional and beautiful and I am proud to share them with you.

Why Am I Nekkid? See the King:

My Five Year Old Is A Better Parent Than I Am

2006-02-01T20:17:00.000-05:00

I have recently discovered that Little Man is a better parent. He and the two girls are in the tub and I walk into the girls room to get clothes/diapers. I walk back into the bathroom and Little Man has removed Ms. Personality and Miracle Babe from the tub and wrapped them in towels.

He proceeds to take the diapers from me and diaper his sisters. Without being asked. Without it being mentioned. I didn't even tell them it was time to get out of the tub.

Can I retire now do you think??

My Kid's Hearing is WAY too good!

2006-02-01T19:12:00.000-05:00

What is it with a 5 year old that you can tell him 20 times to do something and he "didn't hear you Mommy" But the minute I say something I don't want to hear come out of his mouth, well yeah there it is.

Earlier today Little Man is standing on the couch (nevermind that he knows that this is inappropriate behavior) and yelling at the TV, which just went from cartoons to a commercial. What is he screaming you ask? I hear the words "What the Duck?" Ok.. Not the same as the real thing but too close to cut it.

Then I tell him to get a plate for his dinner. Again. Again. Again. Finally I yell at him becuase he OBVIOUSLY is not hearing me. What is his response?

"Mommy, you're a fussy grown-up."

I couldn't help but laugh. What am I gonna do with him?

The Beauchamp Family

2006-02-01T16:07:00.000-05:00

The Beauchamp Family

Candy hit this one on the head. Thanks for the update on Beloved Wife's Day.

I wonder if it could be implemented here in the U. S. ?

Correction.....

2006-01-31T20:16:00.000-05:00

Okay, so in the interest of time and effciency I apparently made a mistake in only thanking Grandpa Roy for the kid's new clothes. So, now, I apologize to all offended parties and hereby correct the notion.

Thank you to MONICA, JOHNATHAN and Grandpa Roy for the kids new clothes. They look great in them.

Look At the Pretty Light

2006-01-30T15:56:00.000-05:00

Miracle Babe loves to be in Mommy’s lap. Especially when I first get home, but one of my first routines is checking my email. So this causes an issue. Most times, I read my email with a baby in my lap. Yesterday she is fussy and I need like two minutes to finish scanning my messages. So I get out the little flash light I have on the desk hoping to flash it a few times at her and then give it her so she can try to figure out how I made it do that.

I know….BAD MOMMY. It gets a little worse. I flash the light at the baby and she is captivated. Two or three times more and then I put it down.

Instead of reaching for the flashlight though, like I thought she would. Miracle Babe is reaching out in front of her at thin air. Then it hits me. She’s trying to catch the spot floating in front of her eyes….

AWWWW!!!! And she was so funny smiling and reaching to catch nothing but air cupped in her little hand.

Pick Up Your Underwear!

2006-01-30T15:55:00.000-05:00

I hate coming home to a dirty house. It doesn’t even have to be really dirty, just not straightened up. As I am a mostly SAHM I am home all week catching up with laundry and keeping up with the kids toys and such. I spend my whole week getting the house to the point of cleanliness that I like it at. No toys in the living room. All the beds are made and the kids rooms are cleaned up and the dishes are done. So then I go to work on Saturday. I work a ten hour day on Saturday.

Why is it that I can be home with the kids all week and have the house clean when the hubs gets home, but when I get there after work I walk into chaos? Toys and blankets everywhere and I can usually tell you what was cooked for lunch. But he’s all smiley and proud because he cleaned out the pantry?

Now don’t get me wrong…I think the pantry getting cleaned is fantastic. BUT. Ummm…darling…..no one goes into the pantry. Don’t you think maybe we should try to get the visible stuff cleaned up before we start a project?!?

And what is it with the kids that the minute I come home everyone begins to scream and want me to pick them up right NOW!? Why does this happen every time I walk in the door?

Just those two days a week I would like the house to look close to what it looked like when I left. I worked hard all week and it makes me crazy to feel like it was for nothing because I don’t get the same amount of help on the weekends.

Oh, and yeah. Makes me want to grit my teeth (and just the thought usually sends chills up my spine) when he comes into a clean house, and a clean bedroom and drops his clothes in the middle of the floor. Hello? The laundry basket is like in the bathroom right? You’re going to take a shower right? WHY? Why can’t you take them off right in front of the laundry basket and then just drop them in? It’s right there and don’t tell me that you don’t see this clean house. How do you think it got this way?

ARRGGG!!!!

I Fell In Love with My Husband

2006-01-29T10:08:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I'm at the crap job. (For the benefit of any coworkers and/or supervisors: working my little tail off; just typing at lightning speeds and trying to figure out how to get more done with my toes.) But seriously: doing absolutely shit. Co-worker that the dried-up bitter crone put in charge turns to me and says, "You can have VTO (voluntary time off) if you want to go. We don't have any calls right now and it's really slow. "

Now, I thought about it for like a whole half second.”Uh, well....my paycheck can't really afford it. Ok, yeah, never mind I'm outta here at like noon, mmmk?"

Left work and here I am thinking that I am going to be home with the hubs and the kiddos trying to keep up and watching my hard work on the cleaning of the casa go down the drain. But I had underestimated the CP. Turns out my mother is at the house AND she's taking all three clowns to her house for the day. WOOO HOOO!

Time for some HOT MONKEY LOVE! Fast forward through the shower scene and skip forward an hour or so.

We decide to head out and check out a movie. At least that was on the agenda to begin with. But you know what? When your other half works from dark 'til dark and you constantly have three tornados in tow you get absolutely no time with the man you married to do all that mundane, ordinary, daily stuff that you want to get done.

Revised plan: Skip the movie and go to Sam's Club to buy indoor/outdoor tables for the kiddo’s birthday party coming up. I know boring right? Nope. You have never gone on a day exploration with my man.

We laughed and joked and then teased each other. We talked like adults do and then we flirted some more. We spent way too much money even though we got a great deal. So after a little rumble in tummy we head over to Baby Acapulco’s.

In the truck on the way over: more laughs. Making fun of people that won't let us merge in and laughing at the two kids play fighting in the restaurant parking lot. We couldn't decide if it was real or not ‘til we got to the door but had it been real we might have been on our way to getting our asses kicked. We drive it and the one kid looks up cocks his chin back and makes a face. Now, I know he meant to look like he was trying to be all hard, but he ended up looking like he was a fish asking for a big kiss. We couldn't help it. We both busted out laughing.

Get into the restaurant and start feeling like an adult, especially with the Baby A's 'Ritas we ordered.

So a bowl of Baby A's soup, two plates of fajita nachos, a hot fudge brownie with Amy's Mexican Vanilla ice cream later we're waiting for the check and a to go box. The waiter has departed our table like 20 minutes ago looking for this elusive box. He's not back nor does he show signs of it.

I head to the bathroom. I come out. Still no waiter. CP goes into the bathroom. Come outs. I'm waiting for him. Still no waiter. So.....we start for the door.

Hey! He didn't bring the check we waited....we looked for him.....no check....no money. We can see the door and are almost home free. From behind me, "Hey, ya'll lookin' for the check?"

DAMN.

"Yeah, we were just looking for you. Couldn't find ya. There ya are. Where were you.....?” Hee hee....

Fifty bucks later we're headed home. Grab some movies at Blockbuster, pick up two free rain checks for movies I don't care about one way or another, but hey, guaranteed free if they aren't in and they weren't.

Meanwhile, my mother knows we'll be there at eight. She's blowing my phone up. Solution: Turn it off. If she has an emergency with the kids: CP has his phone on him, but she won't call him 'less she has to. Ahhh....love that mom is afraid of the Big Bad Hubby.

Smells like Verbal Abuse This Morning

2006-01-28T10:52:00.000-05:00

I am currently at work. At a job I hate. In a room full of florescent lights. With my ass on a chair that is supposedly ergonomically correct: my ass is spreading from sitting on it for 10 hours and I can feel little pins in my back and shoulders, ergonomically correct whatever! I have a headset on my head, which by the way is hell on the ears.

I just answered a call, in my fake polite tone, from some yahoo who's pissed that he got a survey for a vehicle he no longer has. Makes me wonder when Joe Customer calls exactly what he wants from the Big Bad Corporation.

What does he think I am going to do for him? Honestly, if his money was involved I could understand him being upset, but this guy is having a melt down over a survey that didn't cost him anything and most likely was just a pain to throw away.

Hello?! You just wasted 15 minutes of the time you say is incredibly precious to you bitching at me when it would take like 3 seconds to walk to the trash can to throw that paper away. Where is the logic dude?

Did you just need to yell at someone to get the aggression out? If so, hey don't let me stop you. I was trained to listen to this.

Trained little monkey that's me.

But damn dude. If that’s the case warn somebody huh? That way I know that all you want is to scream a little and I won't wrack my brain trying to come up with shit to make you happy.

I hate when I'm trying to be a good little customer service drone and caller extraordinaire just wants a whipping boy. Don't get me wrong I can bend over and take the verbal spanking anytime you like. It's what I do! I just don't want to try to help you if you don't really want to be helped.

Maybe it wasn't the survey that pissed this guy off but the fact that his three year old torn it up and tossed it in the toilet, then flushed it and now he's got a flood in the bathroom. Maybe that's why I'm getting it? I can't fix that. I'm not even gonna try. I hate cleaning up my own kids messes. Not to mention the bathroom messes.
And lord forbid if there was anything in that toilet to start with!

So that's how I'm gonna look at it...Joe Customer is pissed cause Junior got shit on the carpet, that he has to clean up, because of our survey.... So it's all my fault. I get it. I understand.

Thank you for your call today, your concern has been documented in our files. Have a nice day and thanks for calling Whipping Boys R Us.

Modeling

2006-01-27T21:01:00.000-05:00

So Grandpa Roy sent new clothes for the kids. First thing mom did is make them try them on and of course get the camera out. So here for the enjoyment of those who shelled out for them are pics of the kids in their new clothes.

Big Birthday Bash!!

2006-01-26T15:29:00.000-05:00

So the munchkins are turning a year older.....I'm sad at the time goind by. But! Big party for the two of them. You read this blog....and are in the area.....you're invited....drop me a line and I'll give you the details.

My Ramblings Part Three: Let's Get Happy!!

2006-01-25T00:03:00.000-05:00

Let’s ponder the question of what happiness really is. To begin I’ll pick apart the definition of happiness according to a standard dictionary. Happiness is feeling pleasure, causing pleasure, feeling satisfied that something is or has been done right, or slightly drunk. Well that ranges to all ends of the spectrum doesn’t it?

If we take the term very literal and use it to dissect our lives, how many of us are actually happy? Can we find overall happiness in the everyday? According to the dictionary every time I feel pleasure or cause it and every time I feel satisfied or am drunk than I am experiencing happiness. Now, I have a little moral dilemma to explore here first.

How is being slightly drunk making me happy? I have been every range of drunk from slightly to completely blasted and never once would I describe the feeling as happiness. As a matter of fact when researching alcoholism I am pretty sure that this is what you would hear come out of an alcoholic’s mouth. So, I refuse to ever refer to being drunk or for that matter, high, as being happy.

Now that I’ve cleared that up I can get down to what happiness really is right? Well, no. I also have an objection to describing satisfaction in a job well done is happiness. I can say that I have pride in a task I did particularly well, but if you are telling me that in every instance where I did something right and felt good about it that I am happy then you are wrong. You have justified one of my little neurotic impulses. Now doesn’t that make you an enabler? Here we go again. I can now tell myself that being happy means that I think I’m great and what I do is great and pride is happiness.

Nope, I’m not going to do it. As I so thoroughly explained earlier, I spend a good portion of my time trying to be perfect and if I tell myself that every time I do something right I am happy then it just fuels my perfectionist nature. Then I am doomed to failure and where is the happiness in that?

So now we’re down to the teeth of the issue. The giving and receiving of pleasure is my total definition of happiness. At least, it’s what I would like to be my definition of happiness. This is what I think everyone’s definition of happiness should be. If every single person on earth was devoted to the giving and receiving of pleasure then wouldn’t we all be a little happier? The earth would just become a giddy, happiness Mecca right? Well, in theory anyway.

In a marriage, this is the ultimate goal. The thing that you most strive for in your relationship is make yourself and your partner the happiest that you can be. This means that you want to give your spouse as much pleasure as you can. Whether this is physical pleasure, mental pleasure or emotional pleasure is up to you and your spouse. Personally, I would love a mixture of all three.

There no point in any relationship where all of the needs of both partners are being met. There is a natural give and take in relationships. I remember my parents telling me when I was young that a marriage was not 50/50 but a little more flexible than that. On any given day a relationship could be 50/50 or 60/40 or 90/10 and vice versa. You must know that this will eventually even out though. If there is one partner that is constantly giving and one that is constantly taking then you will end up nowhere.

And yes...you can laugh at the picture...Guess who was behind the camera??!

My Ramblings Part Two

2006-01-23T20:56:00.000-05:00

I spend a lot of my time attempting to be the “perfect” this or that. Whether it is mother, wife, cook, housekeeper, decorator, friend, or daughter, I know that it is impossible. But it doesn’t stop me from trying and beating myself up when I can’t be that.
I feed on praise. I need attention. I need someone to tell me how proud they are of me to make me feel as though I have accomplished something and if those in my life don’t do it automatically then I can find myself bragging in the hopes that I will get the “afterthought” praise.
That light bulb will go off for them and you can almost hear the wheels turning. “Oh yeah, this is a good place to say good job”. They can hear me fishing for it I’m sure. Then like I was taught to, I play the modest little lady. “Oh, it was nothing. No big deal.”
When you know as well as I do that it was a big deal. Had they not said anything I would have pouted. I know myself. I can see it. I would have been gracious and smiled until I was alone and then I would have been pouty and resentful that no one noticed how great I am.
Do you see the selfishness and conceit coming out yet? I am one of the most selfish people I know, materialistic too.
If we are low on money for my birthday and we have little for gifts, I get upset and moody with my husband because he didn’t spoil me. Yet when his comes around and the same situation arises I can play the logic card and not feel guilty about not blowing any money on him. How selfish is that?!
I don’t see it at the time. I think I’m being logical and reasonable and I have every reason to expect to be treated like a princess. Almost as if I am better than my husband and he should cow-tow to me. I can hear it in the back of my head, that evil little voice that I so often deny, but occasionally take heed of. This little voice is screaming at me that I am superior and he should be grateful that I chose him.
What is wrong with me?! Grateful that I chose him? Yet, it’s there at times and I am so ashamed to admit it. This little voice is the one that prompts those selfish little bids for attention from him.
And still, when I’m wrong, I don’t want any attention at all. I don’t want to hear that I was wrong or hurtful or lazy. I can definitely dish it out but taking it is not my forte. I get defensive and mean.
I have a file in my brain of things that bother me about my husband. When he opens his mouth to correct me in any way whether it be constructive or not I pull out the incident that will most quickly turn the attention away from me. This is not intentional. But it happens. There have been times that we will argue for hours on end and resolve nothing. By the end of the argument it nowhere resembles the one we started in. I will have cried and screamed. James may have thrown things and yelled and been silent and reticent. But we solved nothing and we aren’t even on the same page anymore. This is my doing. You know and I know it.
I am neurotic. I come but it legitimately. My mother is the definition of neurotic. Actually, it wouldn’t surprise me to find out that she is psychotic. There are instances when I realize that I am acting just like her and it scares me. But, don’t you dare point this out, because I will so vehemently deny it that I almost convince myself.
James has made this mistake on a couple of occasions. Usually in the middle of a mundane argument he’ll turn to me and say, “Alright, Trish.” Now, I have heard the term “seeing red”. I never believed it was literal. Until the first time he did this I honestly thought that he had more common sense than I do. I was wrong. This is not an intelligent thing to say to your wife. Men take note. The words, “You’re just like your mother!” should never leave your lips. You can think it. You can even mutter it outside of our hearing but if we hear this, you have just given us grounds to divorce your insensitive rears!
Fortunately, I can be forgiving and occasionally I run into a bout of self-awareness and can graciously admit that my other-half may be on to something. I will never admit this to him. Ever. But, yes, I am just like my mother-in some of the most horrible, awful, revolting ways. Why couldn’t I have inherited all of my grandmother or my aunt’s qualities? They were more my support system. Why did some of my mother rub off? I didn’t ask for it, but there it is.
I suppose I will pass this curse on to my children as well. At times they will be needy, insecure, selfish, greedy, materialistic, conceited, neurotics as well. I only hope that my influence over them is not as detrimental as my mother’s over me.
Everyone has their sob story when it comes to their parents. Everyone carries baggage around with them like it’s for their mental health. Letting go of our emotional and mental baggage is harder to do than getting a woman to give up on good chocolate and bad men. It’s not as though you can just set this thing down upon entering a room. You carry this with you. The way you react to people, situations, emotions, it all depends on what’s in that little suitcase you carry around with you. And this suitcase was given to you by those closest to you: your parents, your siblings, lovers, and friends. If you let that person, whoever they may be, inside your head and/or your heart for a minute then they left you with some type of luggage. Deal with it.
I have to pull myself out of it every now and then and try to disengage the tunnel-vision long enough to do some inner reflection. I react to emotion. Most women do, but I am the worst at this. Chalk one up for Mom.
Honestly, James can tell me that he is going to do something that I would not normally like on first look then let it go and give me a day or two and I will have no problem with it if I know it is coming and have already reacted. The best way to deal with me is to tell me what it is over the phone and then hang up. Don’t answer my calls or talk to me for a while. Believe me, I will try to call back and get my two cents in there. Give it about an hour or so then call back. I will probably have already run down my entire list of why you are a horrible, selfish human being and called you every expletive I know. At this point I’m putty. Until, it’s time for whatever event it may be to take place. I do not want to see you getting ready for it. I do not want to be reminded that you are going to do something that I do not like. Just do it. I’ll get over it.
That being said, you must be reasonable. If you are completely wrong in your intentions to do something, I won’t just get over it. You want to hear a little secret? Come real close and I’ll tell you… I hold grudges. Big ones. Big, fat grudges that I will bring up later. At this point you should refer back to the file I keep in my head on my husband.
I’ve heard people say that this is just women. Yeah, well, I’ve used it as my excuse before. I have a lot of them, justifications and what-not, but basically, it’s total crap. You are responsible for you. Say it with me, “I am responsible for me.” Pushing the “blame” for this off on someone else isn’t going to help me make it right. It’s not going to make me a more mental stable or emotionally healthy person.
So here and now, I take responsibility for my actions, my reactions, my emotions and my happiness. I guarantee I will have to glance back at this later when my resolve begins to falter, but for today and for the near future, I will not allow anyone to decide what my emotional state will be.
Easier said than done right? I know. My little voice is screaming at me that this is going to be the toughest thing I have ever done. I think I have a method though.
I’m going to smile, even if it’s a fake smile and I’m so livid I could scream, I’m going to smile. Because if even if it is fake, I’ll end up laughing at myself.
I’ll laugh and then you’ll laugh and before you know it we’ve all made the conscious decision to be happy. Not just act happy, but be happy.

2006-01-10T10:29:00.000-05:00

I Like To Move Move It!

Watch the video

Little Ms. Personality loves to dance. We caught her taking her baby dolls for a spin on the living room floor while the theme from Madagasgar was playing in the background.

You want me to pay for WHAT?!?

2006-01-10T10:12:00.000-05:00

So the CP is driving around in his work van. He hears a mysterious noise coming from the region of his abdomen and decides that maybe it's time to stop off and get some nourishment. He looks up and what does he see but the infamous golden arches!

He quickly whips the wheel into the parking lot planning to fill up on greasy fries, mystery meat and cheese with a mealy tomato slice all smashed together in what can only be referred to as the most poisonous junk to walk the planet.

So he places his order at the squawking box and watches it pop up on that neat little screen. He notices that the total price is a little more than posted and that it seems to be out of line with the sickening result that is a McD's burger so he questions it.

'Lo and behold what is located on the receipt?

Old Ronnie McDonald is a little broke these days apparently because he's asking Mr. Customer to buck up for his own tomatoes! WHAT?!!

Oh and not even just a small fee all wrapped up in the cost of the burger but a separate astronomical fee! Come On Ronnie! You know you get a whole tomato for twice what you just charged for a slice right?

So please, let's all donate to the cause because apparently Ronnie is nearly homeless and this is his way of standing on our street corner and hoping that we won't lock the doors.....

My ramblings....Part One

2006-01-06T15:43:00.000-05:00

I have an interesting relationship with my husband. It comes with a long story beginning when I was young and innocent and follows through to now, when life has taught me a few hard lessons about forgiveness and what’s really important.

I am also the mother of three beautiful children. They are the light and the bane of my existence. I sometimes think if I was not a parent that I would be better off financially. Perhaps this is true, more likely it is an excuse as to why I have not followed through with the goals of my youth.

At sixteen I was unstoppable; long legged, blonde-hair, blue-eyes, bubbly personality and a brain that just wouldn’t quit. I was the typical girl that you expect to go far and let nothing get in her way. I acted in school plays and was very dramatic. I was always on the honor roll and in advanced classes. I read incessantly. I enjoyed romance more than anything, because it always had a happy ending, but that wasn’t all I read. And I wrote poetry.

Everything, when you are sixteen, is so dramatic. Everything deserves to be explored to the fullest. There is nothing that is too dull or mundane to gush over dinner or to your friends about. So, at this age I had my first broken heart. Of all of the things for a sixteen year old to write about, this is the most over-used and over-exaggerated subject.

I wrote poetry that I thought was beautiful and painful and wrenching. I wrote some that rhymed and then decided to get a little deeper and I wrote poetry that didn’t rhyme. I researched poets like Anne Sexton and I empathized with them. I acted as though I had been the victim of a huge tragedy and the whole world would be interested in my heartbreak.

I look back at it now and it’s silly and trite. I want to go through those pieces of my youth and correct all the over-used, overly-dramatic fragments. I guess I think that if I pick up that poetry and make it something worthwhile then I will have corrected all those youthful mistakes. I know logically this is impossible and irrational, but my subconscious seems to be on another page on this subject.

I think more than anything I want to write. I want to write down what I think and have people sit back and pay attention. I want to be a fount of wisdom or the source of an afternoon of pure literary pleasure. There is nothing like writing something as though you were talking to your best-friend and by doing it, help your reader know you; understand who you are.

I know I have it in me. I can almost feel it waiting to get out. If I could just piece it all together I might get the flow right. I might be able to make my mark on this world as an important piece of the puzzle. I was someone who mattered here on earth. My work is the proof that I was here and I had something meaningful to say.

For now, it resides in my letters, journals, emails, web logs, and my late-night thoughts. After all, my children need me to be their mother now. You see, at sixteen that broken heart molded me like nothing else. I met the man I would marry. He walked on my heart as most careless young men will do. Then when he was all done making me feel like the dirt beneath his shoes, he married someone else and he left me. There is nothing as painful as puppy love, and believe me, I had a wounded heart for a long time. But, I recovered and I was well on my way to following through will all those plans that I had set up.

Then, wouldn’t you know it, he came back into my life. He was divorced, had experienced some of my similar emotions from his ex-wife and was now ready to move on. He apologized and promised he would never hurt me again. A promise that is impossible for anyone to keep. What can I say? I was seventeen by now and no smarter in the love department than before. I took him back. I fell in love for real this time and as is typical for those of us who have become a cliché, I’m sure you can guess what happened.

Eighteen and pregnant is not a way to go into undergraduate school. As a result I put the university track off for a year and moved in with my man. We got used to living with each other and here is where I started learning those hard life lessons. At eighteen you know everything and need no help from anyone. At least you think you do. I know I did. But honestly, you’re just a kid still. You have the body of an adult but your mind and your emotions are not ready for the commitments that you are old enough legally and physically to make.

I had the baby, a beautiful little boy, and leaned quite a bit on my parents. I started community college the next fall.

I had a baby to help support and going away to college was not an option for a mommy who refused to leave the baby behind and couldn’t take him with her. So, I did distance learning classes and some night courses as is the norm for those of us who work a full-time job and go to school.

When it was time for the wedding I was just doing too much so I quit school temporarily. Two new babies and a few homes later I think we are all settling in. I have recently considered going back to college and finally getting at least an Associate’s.

I could possibly then transfer and get my undergraduate degree. At 24 I thought I would be well into the career I had studied for but I was wrong. Sometimes even getting the college degree doesn’t guarantee that you will be doing a job that relates to that degree. My best-friend’s fiancé for instance has a bachelor’s in journalism and yet he is in the management trainee program for Enterprise Rent-A-Car. Go figure.

Anyway, I have student loans to pay off and children to support and a mortgage and a vehicle payment, insurance, utilities etc. And yet, when it’s quiet, and I get to think about what I want, it’s always to write. To tell a story, the story, to those who matter most; make them laugh, cry, think, ponder, and argue.

The interesting part about my relationship with my husband is that he knows this. He would support me in whatever I want to do. He would encourage me, love me and push me to achieve it all. I don’t tell him these things. I don’t tell him that I want this sometimes more that I can breathe. He knows though. He understands me that well. When you literally grow up with someone, mature with them, you know them like their own parents don’t. We are lucky in that respect. We have love. We have happiness. But like most marriages we have our problems too.

James and I are horrible at communication at times. We are especially lacking on certain issues, like housework and time out “with the boys”. We have our own resentments of each other and there are times our house is a war zone littered with things we didn’t say and those things that we did.

Marriage is not easy. Love is not easy. It shouldn’t be so hard that it is not manageable or that it is violent or scary but it isn’t for the timid. A marriage takes work and worry. You must decide what issues are worth arguing about, what is an integral part of your spouse’s nature and what made you fall for them.

I know that as a result of my upbringing I will always try to “improve” and “change” my husband. I know that this is something I must fight to manage every day, because honestly, if I need to change him then why am I with him? I sometimes lose my battles with myself and then they spill over into my relationship with my husband. This is my fault and I know that, but even knowing it doesn’t change it. It takes my effort to do that. I can’t just sit back and let my marriage happen to me. I have to be an equal partner in my own happiness. Just as I am responsible for my failures, so am I responsible for my own successes........

National Champs!! Hook'Em!

2006-01-05T10:55:00.000-05:00

GO HORNS!!!!!

That is all.

Beer Drinking, Chip Eating, Couchbound Gridiron Giants Invade....

2006-01-04T13:42:00.000-05:00

Live the What? You guys all travel to California to get your asses kicked (never mind the fact that I'm hoping you actually kick some ass) just for shits and grins on a regular basis. You get to live out your fantasies in front of all our cameras while the men of the good old' U.S. of A. cheer you on.

Our couch-potato hero gobble down chips and salsa and drink beer like THEY are your life long frat brothers and have no choice but to get stinking drunk in your honor, while we, the serene, calm, loving wives that we are, grit our teeth and make comments like "Why the hell did I marry you, you lazy good for nothing, loud ass macho jerk?" and try to clean up the chip fragments and buffalo sauce.

Never mind that the kids are trying to sleep, you go on ahead and yell your head off honey! I know, this is your dream.

Ummm. Hello?! Wake the hell up would you please?! YOU are not in the Rose Bowl. Calm the fuck down Skippy. Meanwhile you wake that kid up your dealing with her screaming, crying, "I-better-get-some-damn-milk-right-now!" meltdown buddy. But beside that....Go Horns!

2006-01-04T02:30:00.000-05:00

T'was the night before Christmas

Watch the video

The lighting is terrible, but the cute part is the audio anyway. This is Little Man writing a little letter to Santa the night before Christmas explaining why we had no more homemade cookies.

Pull Rip and Tear!

2006-01-04T01:34:00.000-05:00

Christmas 2005

Watch the video

The kiddos opening presents at home on Christmas. Wow. They made out like bandits too. I think that the toy makers must think that the toys are going to space with al lthe ties and screws and tape and JUNK they put on the damn boxes. Let me tell you these gifts had Santa's storage space all fulla nd then when out of the boxes the gifts made a small pile for each child. What kind of bull is that?!

Christmas Morning Video

2006-01-04T01:31:00.000-05:00

Video to Grandpa Roy

Watch the video

Christmas 2005. Little Man talking to his grandpa in Houston.

Country Girl!

2006-01-04T00:05:00.000-05:00

Anybody want a gourmet mud pie?

Knockin' Out Some ZZ's

2006-01-03T23:54:00.000-05:00

Caught the Miracle Babe falling out on her own. All tuckered out I guess... ;)

PIG TAILS!!!!

2006-01-03T18:35:00.000-05:00

Finally! Ms. Personality has enough hair to put in some semblence of a hair style. Too bad for her that my favorite for her is pigtails. She's so adorable!

Random Day In the Sun

2006-01-03T18:25:00.000-05:00

So I took the kiddos out for a little fun in the afternoon sun. Since they can't all smile at the same time I guess I'll have to settle for candids. I love my digital camera cuase I don't have to waste all that film to get one good picture when I can get 100 mediocre pictures and one really good one.

New Year's Eve 2005

2006-01-03T18:10:00.000-05:00

This one is of James having a good time at my best friend Brooke's parents for New Years' Eve 2005. Below is the girls and me....From Left...Me, Brooke, and Theresa.

Dylan's reaction to the dog's in the house.
He was so scared of one of them that he keep running away.

Top Right: Theresa and Brooke with Brooke's puppy Molly... and the Bottom Left is Brooke's borhter Keith and his fiance Tina.

My Christmas Gift

2005-12-30T21:25:00.000-05:00

Did I mention I got a Kodak Easy Share Digital Camera for XMAS?

Say Cheese Ya'll

2005-12-30T21:18:00.000-05:00

Above is my dad and my sister Jennifer along with her daughter "Allie the Alligator". Top Right is me and my dad and my sis.

Top is Little Man sleeping it off in the truck on the way home from a random day out on the town. Top right is my sis and her baby girl again and the bottom right is me and my sis in front of my new house.

More Christmas Pictures

2005-12-30T20:15:00.000-05:00

Christmas 2005

2005-12-26T23:41:00.000-05:00

My Miracle Babe in front of the tree on Christmas Eve.
My oldest munchkins cuttin up for Christmas.

The Sacred Female Spirit

2005-12-18T15:30:00.000-05:00

I think women are the greatest. I am married and I love my husband. He and I are very close. But, women can communicate with each other like no one else. My god we can be bitchy and catty, but when we are in harmony there is no stopping us. I love my girlfriends like I love no one else. It is a spiritual thing.

The power of the feminine spirit is incredible. Who else but women, could heal the suffering of the world. We are the mother's of our earth. We give birth, we raise babies and mold them into incredible men and even more incredible women, we stand behind, beside and in front of our partners to propel them to the be the best human being they can be. We encourage and prod and push and love like nothing on this earth. We are strong and powerful and loving and vulnerable, trusting and loyal, intelligent and beautiful creatures.

Rejoice ladies!

Revel in the fact that you are a woman and you are immeasurably powerful.

Reunions

2005-12-18T15:29:00.000-05:00

My best friend from high school called me on Friday. She and I play phone tag quite a bit. She blames it on never getting her messages from her Sprint phone but, I think it's just excuses.

Okay, I believe her. Just barely.

So we started talking about the rest of the group that we used to hang out with in high school and how it's a little difficult to keep up with each other.

In those four years of teenage hell, we all promised to keep in touch no matter what. I know that this is a naive promise and that everyone makes it and thinks that they will be the first to keep it. Okay, I get that. We didn't do it. Surprise, Surprise!

So I started thinking about getting a group together on some web page that would allow us all to keep in touch and catch up with each other. There were a few of us and we were all really close and there for each other during those overly dramatic years.

I grew up in a small town and everyone knew everyone when I came on the scene in Kindergarten. Somehow even comming on the scene in the middle of the year that early was a cardinal sin because I never really fit with the "cool" crowd. They were all those whose parents were friends and had been friends since they were babies.

We kind of created our own group. We didn't do so bad because there are those of us who are still talking, getting along, and then there are those who aren't talking strictly because we lost touch.

I decided to correct that. I have created a Yahoo! group (TRAITOR) for my friends to talk to me, for me to talk to them. I miss that awesome advice and just being there for each other. My friends were remarkably grounded for teenagers and we've always been very intelligent and ahead of our time. They have the most solid shoulders I have ever been able to lean on. It pains me to say it, but I failed to keep the friendships going back then.
Hindsight's 20/20 right? Well, looking back on it I got too involved with my boyfriend (now my husband) and my jobs and everything else when I should have been concentrating on school and my friends and living it up as a teen instead of working three jobs and fighting to spend time (read: have sex) with my man.

So, I really need to finish getting all those pictures of us together to be posted on this little group site and then make sure I have everyone's email addresses.

I wanna.....

2005-12-04T14:00:00.000-05:00

I want to go on a shopping spree and never look at prices. I want to pay all my bills on time and then still be able to blow $1,000 on bullshit. I want to fill my closet with off the wall shoes just because it gives me kicks to wear 'em. I want to visit New Orleans again before Katrina. I want to take my husband parasailing. I want to get a dog that would kill anyone who hurt my kids but would roll around in the grass with the baby and not put a mark on her. I want to get my pilot's license. I want to be a movie star. I want to climb a mountain rock face. I want to go skydiving. I want to put my kids through college and then let them take care of me in my old age. I want to be a fantastic Christian. I want to inspire my husband to have the greatest love affair of all time with me. I want to be the woman that no party is complete without. I want to need someone less than they need me. I want to visit Paris and Venice. I want to ride in a gondola and listen to love songs. I want to drive a convertible without my hair getting mussed. I want to ride a motorcycle in tight black leather and stop at a light and be the girl that makes men drool when I whip off my helmet and my hair is just-got-out-of-bed-where-I had-wild-blow-your-mind-sex sexy! I want to take off at a moments notice on a destination to nowhere and end up where I should have been all along.

I wanna meet:
People who make other people laugh. People who laugh at themselves. People who hear the inner voice of sanity and choose to ignore it. People who are a little bit conceited. Unselfish people. Someone who will inspire me to be a better person. Someone who cares about their Karma. People who like pink. Someone who loves food and hates cats. Romantics Someone with their heads in the clouds. A woman who reads incessantly and the man who doesn't understand her but loves her anyway. The voice of reason. God. A couple who is married for 30 years and fell in love at first sight. A woman who inspires me. Someone who is not afraid to say what they think. Someone who will not lie. Ever. People who love daisies. Someone who must pluck before leaving the house.

Writing It All Out

2005-12-04T11:11:00.000-05:00

Since I was a kid I have had this overwhelming facination with writing. I love a good story and even when reading one I imerse myself in the characters and the tale itself so much that I feel as though these people are my friends/enemies/lovers....etc.

I hate to put a book down and if a book is one in a series and I get to see my "friends" continue on then bring it on. I even sometimes sit and change the story in my head. So as a result I want to write. I think I would be fantastic at it....IF I could ever get started.

I made promise in my teens to myself. One of those, I swear I will so this, I will conquer the world with my own two hands promises. I would be a published author by the age of 18. I beat it. I was published at 16 and 17 in a Poetry Anthology. But now as I sit here I have been considering picking up some of my half finished screenplays and novels and poems and finishing off some of them.

I was minding my own business, surfing the 'net as usual and I ran across a place where people are looking to hook up with writers. Click on the title to get to this link. Anyway! I though HOW COOL! Oh wait, I have nothing finished, at least to my satisfaction.

So maybe another project to start. Like I dont have enough already huh? Everything stay half finished with me. Until I get around to getting it done.

Who knows maybe I'll get a wild hair next week and spend four days writing the "great America Novel".

Then again....that's alot of work. I think I'm just too lazy for it.

Another Day, Another Dollar

2005-12-03T17:16:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here at work. Surfing when I know I shouldn't be. Thinking over the events of the last week.

I took the news of CP losing his job pretty well I thought. But apparently I was just holding it all in because night before last it all came to head and the CP and I had it out. Fighting sucks all the energy out of you. I hate that our financial situation isn't what it was at one point. I think I blame him for this a little bit too. I don't mean to, but I think its there anyway.

I got our tree put up for Christmas but I just lost the Christmas spirit this year after I found out that the money we were going to use for gifts had to go to living expenses. Then my Dad calls and asks me about money for the kids Christmas. I made plans to go with him and my sister and buy all the gifts for them before it was all picked over and while we can still get a decent deal. I'm getting ready for this and the CP calls and says that the truck is out of commission. Needs brakes and it needs them tonight. I have to wait to go into town because I need to take the pads with me. So we get the thing apart before my sis shows up and turns out one of the rotors needs to be replaced and the other should be turned. So I leave it there and go shopping.

It was so mcuh fun playing Santa this year. Got the closet filled with presents and I am hoping that the kids stay out of them. Dad decided that Little Man needed a bed so we bought him a bed with storage underneath it. This will help with toy storage in his little room.

Had to work today and the CP is home with the kids as usual. He is working on the truck with my uncles trying to get it repaired. They got it fixed for little to no money. Fantastic!

Then there is the CP's job that he got. Stinks cause it's so far from the house and all we have the truck to get to it. Horrible gas mileage. So he's been checking thinks out and he has another job lined up that pays better and we have to get a small truck for him to do it. Since we had to get another vehicle anyway this will work out I think.

I have my fingers crossed. Got a chance to do the making up thing last night so I think all is well. We'll see when I get home from work. When the CP is cooped up at the house with the kids while I am working he will find a reason to get all pissy with me. Sometimes even calls me about it.

Ms. Personality

2005-11-25T18:03:00.000-05:00

This is Ms. Personality sharing her pile of rocks.

Miracle Babe

2005-11-25T18:02:00.000-05:00

This is my miracle babe's real personality.

Fisherman's Wharf

2005-11-25T18:00:00.000-05:00

A Beautiful Day at the Park.

Uncle Pat swinging the Girls

2005-11-25T17:56:00.000-05:00

The girls with my uncle.

By the River Bank

2005-11-25T17:53:00.000-05:00

Some new pics of the munchkins at the park on a wonderful day out with my uncle. Unfortunately this was to get me out of the house as the Cable Pimp had been fired for stupid HR junk.

But he did get another job in the same feild that starts on Monday. So....just hold tighto n money for a while and cut back on Christmas and we might be okay.

Anyway the pics......

A Bouncing Baby Boy

2005-11-11T22:49:00.000-05:00

So sis had the kid by c-section. She still has no idea what real pain is! Hello? Two c-sections...and she didn't know that she was having a contraction with this one cause she had never felt them before.

Anyway he was 7 lbs 2 oz and like 19 3/4 inches. Full head of dark hair. I love my sister and her kids are cute but I couldn't help thinking while holding my new newphew that my little boy was absolutely beautiful.

I know...I'm biased.

KIDS! Can't live with 'em.....

2005-11-10T14:42:00.000-05:00

Innocence:
So Little Man and I are on the computer last night hunting for action figures from his favorite game. We decide to buy a couple and are in the "checkout" when he asks me. Mommy will my Warthog come outta the computer?! If I had been drinking coke it would have been all over the monitor.

Helpfulness:
I'm blogging and the Little Man is sitting the the chair behind me brushing my hair, one of his favorite things to do these days. "Making you pretty Mommy." The brushing changes all of a sudden and I hear "SNIP SNIP!" OMG! I reach back and what do I come up with? A handful of my own hair!

"Mommy, you look pretty!"

I want to scream, I want to yell, "What is WRONG with YOU?" But how can I? Look at that face! He was trying to help.

In the Midst of It All

2005-11-10T14:40:00.000-05:00

So, the Cable Pimp is still on the coast. Turns out work there isn't too tough just alot of it. Here it seems the same. Keeping up with the midgets and no relief of the craziness they can cause in sight.

I feel bad every time I talk to CP the kids pipe up and he can't hear anything. Why is that children turn up the volume when you're on the phone? I think they have an interal communications montior. If I am contacting the outside world in any way they feel that they need to be involved.

Going to the hill country later on today for the birth of my nephew. Sis is having her first little boy to go with her little girl monster! So we go to welcome him to the world. I'll be mixing this vist with the one I wanted to make to spend time with Dad. Can't afford that many trips up there so I'll just mix the two.

Taking my BIL with us because he needs a ride up there. Seeing as how we're a little on the thin side as far as money goes, I'm gonna see if I can't get him to pitch in a little on fuel.

Gotta pack for the night, cause we're staying overnight. My dad is gonna be crazy. He can't stand all the noise and stuff. So the kids are gonna drive him bonkers. Then I have to make the run back home so I can go to work on Saturday and have my cousin watch the kids while I do it.

Miracle Babe has decided that she is ready to walk, she just hasn't gotten the balance part down yet. So if you hold her hands she'll walk all over the house. I think that's called crusing. Won't be long now and I'll be chasing her just as hard as I do the middle one.

Better go stretch and train for the marathon that I know is comming up.